Keeping Me Alive
by BubblyCutey
Summary: What does it take to break someone? And after they're broken, what does it take to keep them alive? Something happened over the summer. And Sora has until the next summer to put Riku back together. If all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't do it, then what will it really take? Especially if Sora isn't completely whole either.
1. Chapter 1

The spark in his eye was gone. That's how Sora could tell that there was something very wrong. The glimmer in Riku's eyes that used to be filled with lust for adventure was gone. Sora wondered if it had left with age over the summer, or if it had been taken from him.

Sora smiled and nodded at Kairi, not hearing a word she was saying. He finally turned his attention away from the blue-eyed stranger that sat across the lunch room and back towards his best friend. Sora's worries were piled on as he realized that Kairi had said something important.

"...Got that?" She asked, her eyes searching Sora's face for any form of recognition.

"Ummm..." Sora laughed nervously as Kairi rolled her eyes playfully.

"You were daydreaming again, weren't you- you lazy bum." She giggled and Sora Laughed along with her contagious smile.

"I said," Kairi repeated, "'Please, please help me with the art project! I promise I'll help you with math. We'll meet up this Saturday at my place. Around 3 pm. Got that?'" She eyes him skeptically. "And you do need serious help with math; It's your weakest point. But agreed? You're the best artist in our class- maybe even in the whole world!" She looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Alright, alright. But it's not like we need math in the real world!" Sora pouted. "It takes real talent to be an adventurer."

Kairi snorted. "We're freshmen in high school Sora. It's time to grow up." She looked solemn for a moment. "But... I don't really want you to. Don't change, Sora." She smiled sadly.

The bell rang suddenly and Kairi grabbed Sora's hand, her mood back to the Kari he knew. " C'mon, I'll race you to art!" She dragged him behind her. Sora grinned evilly and yanked his hand out of Kairi's, having a running start. It didn't take much for Sora to accept a challenge.

...

* * *

His day ended in Geometry. Sora stared out the window longingly at the breezy summer day. Summer would turn into fall and fall into winter. Soon enough, summer would be right along the corner again, filled with freedom and warmth. He sketched onto his paper, lost in the world that seemed to forever be inside a window. Or was he the one locked inside? The only way to find out, he told himself, is to go on an epic adventure. There was more to the world that being locked between walls.

Sora noted the change in atmosphere as students began to put away their notes. Sora glanced at the clock with surprise at the half hour left in class- which could only mean... uh oh. Quiz.

And considering Sora's complete entrapment in the outside world and notes that only consisted of doodles, this quiz would kick his butt. He turned back and shoved his "notes" into the messy looking book bag behind his chair. He jumped with a start at the sight of Riku- perfect looks, perfect grades with a devil-may-care attitude- staring out the window and oblivious to the teacher's monotonic chants of "no cheating" and "pencil only."

Wasn't Riku usually paying complete attention to the teacher? Sora poked Riku with his pencil. His blue eyes looked so sad and lost, and Sora was glad for the excuse of a quiz to snap him out of his reverie. No one with a passion for adventure should so sad- actually, no one should at all.

Riku jumped back in his seat, and when he saw Sora watching him his eyes turned blank. "We're about to have a quiz. You should probably put away your notes." Sora smiled nervously. Riku's eyes seemed to cloud over- Sora hated that faraway look in his eyes- as he robotically put his stuff away. Riku's notes, Sora noticed, were nothing but blank sheets of paper.

...

"Wait, Riku!" Sora caught up with his silver-haired acquaintance after class in hopes of receiving Geometry tutoring. When Riku didn't turn around, Sora lept toward him in a playful manner and spun Riku to face him. Sora grinned at the surprised look on Riku's face, then froze.

Sora finally realized what had replaced the strong gleam in Riku's eyes as he pulled back on him, his hand on Riku's shoulder. It was fear.

Riku jerked back, staring with huge doe-eyes, his face torn in torment and pain. He turned away from Sora and raced away. His feet thud heavily against the pavement and tearing apart the unseen silence surrounding them.

Sora's hand stayed in the same position, reaching toward the Riku that had long since left his grasp.

"Riku...?"

...

* * *

Sora returned home. The apartment complex was grungy at best- but it was also the best he could afford. He grinned at his neighbor, receiving a grunt in return. Sora unlocked the door and winced when his book bag hit the floor with a thud- he hoped that when he dropped it he hadn't woken anyone up. Securing the door behind him, he wandered into the kitchen and began preparing dinner.

...

His head began to ache as it slammed against the table. Actually, "ache" wasn't the word for the throb filling and pulsing through his skull. "What the fuck is this? You call this food?" his father screamed angrily. Sora didn't bother looking at his mother for help, knowing that she would only be looking cloudy-eyed. Sora sighed and let the pain envelop him and wash his senses away.


	2. All the World's a Stage

His fingers thrummed against the table impatiently, but he grinned when Kairi finally came into view.

Kairi bobbed back into view against the large crowd that was also taking advantage of the warm Saturday. "Sorry I'm late!" she gave him an apologetic smile, "I had to clean up the house first. I'm glad you didn't mind going out instead- my house is a mess." She sat down next to Sora, her eyes scanning over the horizon. People milled about, chattering happily as the sum beamed down on them. Sora had decided to sit under a large palm tree, the beach not too far away.

Kairi grinned at him. "Hey, after this do you want to go swimming?" Her eyes sparked with glee at the though of spending the afternoon bouncing through water rather than bouncing through math explanations.

"I'd love too- we both know I'd kick your butt at splash wars- but I didn't bring a swim suit." Sora sighed and put his hands behind his head as he leaned against the tree behind him. "Let's just focus on our homework. Maybe we can hang out next week instead- and this time just for social reasons."

"I mean, we can still swim in our clothes..." she eyed him needily. "Hey," she finally noticed, "isn't it kind of hot in that sweater?"

Sora unconsciously pulled the sleeves over his hands and grinned. "Not at all!" he lied. "So, about these geometry proofs..."

...

* * *

Riku wasn't in the lunchroom. Sora had always felt the urge to draw Riku, his silver hair framing his beautiful blue eyes, and his lean tall body...

Whenever Sora saw someone or something he considered beautiful, his fingers would itch with the urge to draw them. He could practically see Riku with his determined eyes holding a sword ready for the battle of his life, and destroying whoever opposed him.

Sora had never asked him though.

In a sense, Sora and Kairi were loners- not because they didn't want more friends, but because they wanted a friend that would know them. Quality over quantity. Sora wondered if he was wrong, though. Did he and Kairi really know eachother? They had never been to eachother's houses, always creating some form of excuse or another. Was it because they were hiding from the eachother, or because they both had something to hide?

Everyone had their own issues, and his wasn't for the world to know. It wasn't that he didn't trust Kairi, but because he wouldn't let himself.

...

* * *

"Uh... hey, Riku." Sora tentatively introduced himself. "My name's Sora. We have Geometry together- you sit behind me."

Riku nodded curtly. "I know."

"I was uh, wondering if you would tutor me? Kairi's kind of not any help." Sora smiled shyly, careful not to touch the other boy.

"Yeah, that's fine." The boy seemed to consider something. "I'll go to your place if that's fine with you. We can study there."

"I'd love to!" Sora faked hesitation, as though he had just realized something. "Actually, my house is being renovated. How about the library instead?"

"This Friday, after school. I'll see you then." Riku turned around and left without a second's notice.

Sora turned into the opposite direction, only to bump into Leon- a Sophomore that he had Geometry with. Sora apologized profusely. "Hey, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there." His smile faltered when he saw the other boy stand stiffly, not responding.

"..." Leon said nothing as Sora resisted rubbing the bruises that Leon had painfully reawakened.

"I'll, uh, see you later." Sora smiled and continued walking before Leon caught his arm, adding more bruises to the already existing ones. His hand nearly crushed Sora's arm before Leon realized the strength he was placing on the younger boy's arm.

"Sorry." Leon put his hands in his pockets. "I just feel like you should be careful around Riku."

"Why?" Sora wondered if Leon was protecting him from Riku, or Riku from him.

"..." Leon walked away.

Sora ignored Leon's warning. He was just getting help with Geometry, that was all.

* * *

_I write things. But if you're across the screen, across cities and possibly across worlds, I can't tell what you're thinking. Please review- let me know what I'm doing right- or even what I'm doing wrong!_


	3. Kingdom of Broken Hearts

His Geometry teacher stopped him in his tracks.

"Sora... you're not doing so well in my class. I'm requesting a parent/teacher conference." Cid handed him a slip of paper. "I need this signed and returned by tomorrow. It's only to confirm a date for the meeting. I'm sorry," Cid pat his back, "I'm just worried about you is all."

Sora tried to keep his face expressionless, letting a simple fleck of desperation leak into his words, if only to weaken the older man's justification. "Actually, sir, I was just heading to a session of math tutoring." Sora sent out a winning smile. "I think you can hold on to that slip. I'll be back on track before you know it."

Cid eyed him carefully before folding the paper and slipping it into his pocket. "I will be holding on to this." he left, then spoke over his shoulder. "I'm here if you need me, Sora. For anything." Cid continued walking away, and Sora headed for the library.

Sora held back a sigh of relief. The last time Sora had a parent/teacher conference, Sora had had "the flu" for a week afterward. At the very least, it had certainly improved his academics.

...

Sora rushed to the library. He had hoped the other boy hadn't left yet- now he had a greater urgency to improve his grades. He nearly tripped at the doorway as he entered, causing a scene so that multiple pairs of eyes looked back at him.

Selphie giggled- he recognized his easygoing classmate from his art class. She always seemed so open and happy. He always enjoyed her presence- her vibes would send him spiraling into a wonderful art haze, where his fingers would seem to move on their own.

Sora mumbled an apology before noticing Riku at the back of the library, a couple girls persistently at his side despite the gloomy look shadowing over his bright eyes. He noticed bags under those crystal blue eyes that he hadn't seen since Riku's mother had died a few years back. Sora briefly wondered if he would be better off if his own parents were dead- and immediately decided against it. A nagging sense at the back of Sora's head told him that not only would his problems be solved if his parents weren't there at all, but also that Riku needed help.

Sora shoved both thoughts away. He needed stability more than anything right now, anyway. He doubted he could handle someone else in his life right then.

As Sora began to draw nearer, the girl's high pitched voices began to worm their way into Sora's head. "Awww, but Riku, you promised! Last year you said we could come over your house and hang out!" The girl poked Riku and Sora noticed him grimace slightly.

"That was last year." Riku's voice slid out smoothly in annoyance with a grumbling undertone.

"But Riku!" The other girl whined, before a flirtatious smile over came her lips. "I promise it'll be fun."

"No thanks." Riku began to stand before Sora leaped to the table and grinned at the girls.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything, but Riku promised me a tutoring lesson. With girls as beautiful as you, I'm sure he'll get back to you later." Sora smiled softly and the girls blushed, and began to walk away slowly.

"Bye Riku!" A girl with huge green eyes, a Junior named Aerith that Sora had seen occasionally seen at lunch, smiled at Riku and nodded at Sora. She had always seemed kind of nice, and pretty.

"See ya around, Sora." The other girl winked at him and waved goodbye to Riku. Sora finally realized her name was Yuffie. He hadn't realized that there was so much to their personalities that he had missed- a single meeting lead to a whole different side to them.

Riku flashed Sora a grateful smile- it was so sincere and pure that Sora felt warm inside. When was the last time someone other than Kairi had looked at Sora with genuine appreciation?

Sora couldn't help but smile back.

"I have some grim news for you- I'm going to need more than one tutoring session."

Riku snorted and rolled his eyes. "With the way you space out in class, it's a miracle you don't need twenty."

"Hey! Tutors are supposed to give encouragement!" Sora pouted and Riku hinted at a smile.

"Let's get started. I don't want to spend the rest of my life working on Geometry problems." Riku pulled out his Geometry textbook.

"At least you don't have to worry about your hair getting grey." Sora muttered.

"What was that?" There was a tiny speck of a glint in Riku's eyes. Sora smirked.

"I said... you don't have to worry about your hair getting grey." Sora stuck out his tounge.

Riku thwaked Sora lightly against the head lightheartedly, but Sora froze, his eyes wide. The old wound was beginning to throb greatly. A headache was spreading behind his skull and his eyes began to darken the world around him.

"Sora?" Riku stared in Sora's eyes. Sora pulled himself back into reality. This wasn't his house, there would be people watching. If he had suddenly passed out, or had a panic attack, people would notice- maybe even call his house. They would try to send him to the nurses' office and she would check his body- and see all the bruises and scars that were still healing. Sora faked a smile.

"I'm fine. Let's work on our homework first, and then you can tell me what the hell I'm supposed to be learning in Geometry."

Riku smiled unsteadily, his eyes searching Sora's. Sora didn't let anything be found. Riku turned his eyes back to the textbook, and began to instruct. "Our latest chapter was about finding the scale factor, but we'll start from the beginning of the course..."

...

_The more you review, the more likely it is that Riku will kiss Sora. And yes, I'm serious. _

___I write things. But if you're across the screen, across cities and possibly across worlds, I can't tell what you're thinking. Please review- let me know what I'm doing right- or even what I'm doing wrong!_


	4. Ripped Away

"Hey Riku," Sora paused and Riku looked up at him, staring into his eyes. Sora put his hands behind his head. "You've been alot of help lately. My grades have improved alot- and not just in Geometry. I was wondering if you would want to meet up someday- outside of school? You and Kairi haven't officially met, how about we go out on a picnic or something?"

"I uh..." Riku's eyes darted around a bit before settling on the hands that were folded in his lap. "Sure."

"Great!" Sora smiled brightly. "We have to meet up soon, before the summer ends. How about at the beach? We can settle down, and oooh! Kairi has this little garden and she grows the most delicious strawberries ever! She'll bring some, I'll bring the lemonade, and you can bring the basket!"

Riku smiled back softly, still not completely looking in Sora's eyes. "Sure. I'd like that."

...

Sora grimaced uncomfortably. He thought they would be gone by now- but with fresh ones popping up every few days, he should have know better. They would never completely be gone. Even if the abuse did stop, Sora doubted it would ever truly leave his mind.

He could lie- say he tripped a couple days back, if anyone asked. He was good at that by now.

Sora reached the beach, his shoe-less toes digging into the warm sand. He loved that feeling- the waves crashing lightly, warmth coating his body and sand getting suck in his hair, only to be washed away by the ocean. The beach was one of his favorite places, despite the pain.

Kairi wore a purple bikini top, and a matching swimming skirt. Sora's fingers itched. He could draw her- she would be smiling. An eternal, beautiful smile against the sunset. Soft, deep red hair that would blend into the sun, creating a beautiful kaleidoscope of colors, her ocean-blue eyes in the center of chaotic colors- calming. Strong. Happy. Eyes staring at the viewer as though she were laughing at something they had said, laughing and bringing the world to a stop in an infinite smile, her skirt flowing around her.

Sora tore out his sketchpad and began to work, drawing a perfect world that might never exist but deserved to be recognized in dreams and happy memories.

Sora was done, but when he looked up the world had changed completely. He glanced at the clock on a nearby shack- it was already five? Riku and Kairi were laughing in the water. When had Riku arrived? He was glad that Kairi had stopped the boy from interrupting Sora's drawing, though. While their relationship had grown over the past few weeks of tutoring and joking, he still needed time to himself occasionally.

Sora carefully tucked his sketchpad away. He took it with him everywhere, but it was his most prized possession. You can never completely relive moments- the most you can do is remember them.

Discarding his sweatshirt, Sora stretched against the sun. Careful to pull down his undershirt and make sure nothing was seen, Sora ran into the waves and tackled an unsuspecting Kairi into the water, and Riku was pushed onto his back and into the water by the splash Sora made. The three tumbled together, Sora trying hard not to laugh and breathe in the salt water. The water suddenly stilled and Sora's eyes widened as he began to swim toward Riku desperately. Riku reached out his hand and Sora struggled against the tide, but their hands couldn't touch. A few more inches, just a few more...

Sora was ripped back, the last of his air leaving his lips in a whoosh of bubbles. It was a riptide. And he was caught in it.

...


	5. Ice

Screaming. Moaning. Gasps of desperation wishing for so long that they had to suck in gulps of air before they could speak again.

Sora choked out water. Air painfully pulsed through his lungs, a soreness that stretched deeper than what his father could ever touch. His lips were tingly and warm, as though someone has been pumping air through them. Maybe some had attempted CPR. Sora blearily opened his eyes, looking at the most beautiful color the sky had ever been. Sora could only dream about such vivid colors, and there it was. Only after death do you see the best things in life, huh. Sora chuckled to himself and felt a burning sensation in his throat- so he tried to grasp it. His whole body ached. The sky dissolved into a single orb centered by a deep blackness, and Sora realized that it was a dripping wet Riku that was hovering over him.

"He's awake oh gosh I'm so happy he's awake!" Kairi leaned closer to Sora, obstructing Sora's view of Riku. Sora wondered, for a second, if Kairi hadn't dried herself as well before he realized that her ocean eyes were crying. "Riku jumped in there and saved you. You were limp, so limp, and I thought you'd never wake up again..." Kairi's tears ran faster down her face.

"I'm..." Sora coughed a bit more, fluid leaking from his lungs. "I'm fine. Don't call an ambulance."

"The hell you are!" Riku stood up angrily. "I'll drive you to the fucking hospital myself. You have a concussion- possibly pneumonia! I'm not going to leave you here to die." Riku glared at Sora, and Sora smiled.

Riku was taken aback. Nearly dead, and Sora was smiling the most sincere, purest smile.

"I can't let you. It's my decision. Thank you."

Was Sora really going to push Riku away after what he had seen under the waves?

Sora stood up shakily. As Sora brushed past him, Riku grabbed his arm tighly, his mouth close to Sora's ear. Kairi was busy packing away the basket. Sora didn't get to taste those strawberries, he remembered sadly.

"When I pulled you out of the water... your shirt lifted up a bit." Riku eyed him questioningly.

"I don't want to talk about it." Sora stated simply. "It was nothing, I tripped when I was little It left a couple scars. That's it."

"Okay." Sora was surprised by how quickly Riku left it alone. They usually pushed and prodded, doing all the things Sora hated, until they were satisfied with some elaborate lie. "I will be there when you do want to." Riku's eyes told him that he knew it was more than a trip, and respected that it was all Sora ever wanted it to be. "You can trust me, if you ever want to." Riku shifted.

"Yeah? Why don't you like it when people touch you? What are you hiding, Riku?" Sora went on the offensive. Riku's hand suddenly released Sora's arm with surprise, his eyes trying to harden but settling on the waves instead.

"I..."

"Yeah, I thought so. Don't ask for secrets when you won't give up your own." Sora faked strength, and straightened up. He walked away from Riku, his feet parallel with the glistening water but never touching. He watched the sun set as he trekked home.

...

Sora woke up with a start, his body shaking. He tried to recall what he had been dreaming about. Scenes drifted before his eyes. Riku's light crystal eyes peering deep into his soul- but Sora wouldn't let their hearts connect. They were too beautiful and pure, especially for someone like him. He wouldn't be able to handle them, and he wouldn't ever agree to it. He wouldn't want to taint the sky.

...

Riku woke up sweating heavily. He gagged, desperate for air. The nightmares that had haunted him from hour to hour and day to day were back. He thought they had finally left him, but it was always inside of him. It had buried itself inside and latched onto his soul with claws so sharp that every breath was painful for Riku. He wanted to stop breathing.

...

"There is time and space in the universe. Sometimes, relationships need time and space as well." Sora leaned against Riku's locker. Riku glanced at Sora. Sora ignored the pain written so plainly on Riku's face. He needed more than just words. Riku needed actions to solidify his belief that Sora was leaving him. It was for the best. Riku closed his expression off, his face telling nothing but the icy blue that were already frozen in time. They were frozen in pain, but Sora knew he couldn't help Riku break that ice without breaking himself.

Sora walked away, and turned back as the warning bell rang. Riku remained expressionless, staring long and hard into Sora's eyes. It was the longest Riku ever had. As he caught Sora's eyes, a rush of students ran between Sora and Riku, escaping, and when the waves of people suddenly died down Riku was gone.

Sora remembered Leon's words. "I just feel like you should be careful around Riku."

Sora wondered if he would regret this moment for the rest of his life.

Not everything ended in a happy ending.

...

_I said a reviews lead to a kiss, right? What do you mean CPR doesn't count? If you would like them to actually kiss and have them both be conscious while it happens, then review. _

___I write things. But if you're across the screen, across cities and possibly across worlds, I can't tell what you're thinking. Please review- let me know what I'm doing right- or even what I'm doing wrong!_


	6. Floating above the World

There wasn't a railing between him and the ground. But that was the point- feeling like you were at the top of the world, with only the sun's rays and a stray cloud above you. Like Sora was invincible.

His feet swung back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...

_"Hey!" Riku smirked at him as Sora protested. "You didn't teach me this!"_

_Riku put his fingers to his lips. "This is supposed to be a test. No talking- and besides, we're in a library."_

_Sora bit down a hateful response and Riku chuckled. His pencil scratched along the surface of the test, branding it with unsure responses and questionable choices. As he handed his "test" to Riku, he released the argument that had building up inside of him while he answered the unfairly hard questions that Riku conjured up for him. Tutoring my ass, Sora thought. More like torturing. Not that he minded Riku's company, or staying even later after school._

_"You haven't taught me how to solve problems like this yet! How am I supposed to know how to figure out how many handshakes happened if there were 13 people missing and that 20 percent of the population were dogs! It doesn't even make sense!" Riku paused, looking at the younger boy._

_"Does it really matter if you've seen a problem as hard as this? Life doesn't follow the rules, and neither do math problems. If you know the basic skills to solve the problem, then you can solve even greater ones on your own. It's not a matter of having seen the problem before, but knowing what to do with it."_

_Sora's mouth opened in shock, losing whatever response he was about to make. Riku was right, after all._

_"Close your mouth or someone's tongue is going to fly in there." Riku winked and tried not to laugh as Sora flushed and quickly closed his mouth- accidently biting his tongue in the process._

_"Owugh" Sora slurred loudly at the pain on his tongue. Riku couldn't hold back anymore, bursting into laughter at the once-quiet library._

_Sora rubbed his tongue against his cheek, trying to sooth it. It ran across his lips, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth..._

Sora's hand reached toward the sky. His hand could almost touch the sun, if only he pushed a bit farther, a little higher. He could almost feel the heat in his hands, warming up his achey body.

"You're going to fall off if you keep that up." A voice thundered behind him. Sora jumped in his unstable seat, nearly falling off the ledge before a hand grasped his shoulder. Sora held back a wince of pain as a student pulled him up. The boy had an air of regal authority and a sweetness to him, scary but kind. It was as though he were searching for something that he knew he might never find, but tried anyway.

Sora smiled at him. "Thanks! I'm Sora." Sora stared at the boy as he brushed past him and walked to the ledge that Sora had nearly fallen off of. It was one near death experience after another, Sora thought.

"I'm Cloud." Cloud stared at the sky. There was a silence broken only by a warm breeze of air before Cloud began to speak again. Sora sat down at the ledge, watching the same sky as Cloud. It's funny, Sora thought. We all live in our own worlds, but we're connected under same sky. A never ending vast expansion of beautiful blue. "I was destined to live in the sky, only pouring rain and making other miserable. Reflecting all the weight of my own pains onto the world around me until I was empty and free, floating above the destruction without a care." Sora's eyes widened at the confession. Had me met the boy before? Why was he telling him all this? "But gazing down on the sunny world below, it was worth it. My destruction made the world so much more beautiful when I was gone. It was all worth it, for moments like this; the sun glistening over the rain I made happen and making the world sparkle."

Cloud looked down at the boy. "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. You thought leaving Riku would stop you from remembering your past. It only made Riku remember his." Cloud's soulful blue eyes stared into Sora's, and he crouched down so that they met eye to eye. "You can make up with him, or you can live without ever seeing him again."

Cloud stood up and walked away. "Don't be a cloud. Don't love the destruction you make, because you'll never be able to fully enjoy the beauty afterward. Kairi told me about this; she's a good kid. Don't regret your life, Sora. Those that do don't live for very long."

Sora rested on the small expanse of cement on the school before returning inside. Lunch as almost over, anyway.

...

"Why did you say anything?" Sora isolated Kairi at the bottem of the stairwell before the basement. Rarely anyone came down there; it's only occupants were a stray couple making out, but they weren't there today. Sora had serious business to settle, and this was the best place to do it privately.

"I- you were going to die, Sora! And Riku saves you and suddenly what, you can't stand being near him?" She looked at him desperately, holding his hand. "You should've seen his face. You were torn away from him and he ran up onto the pier, racing against the current pulling you away until he dived in and dragged your lifeless body onto the sand. He looked so sad, so heartbroken, yet so strong. Like he wouldn't believe that you would die. Like he wouldn't let you."

She sighed, rubbing her forehead against his. "You're the closest thing he has to a best friend. He may be beautiful but you can't just push him away because you like him!"

Sora yanked his head away, eyes wide. "You... you think I like him? As more than a friend?"

Kairi bit her lip. "You're happy with him, Sora. Happier than I can make you, happier than anyone can. And that's all I care about." Kairi smiled softly at him.

Sora agreed instantly. It was a better lie than any one he could come up with right then, and he wouldn't tell her why he had really pushed away from Riku. "Please don't tell him." Kairi nodded. "But... why did you tell Cloud?"

Kairi looked away. "Sora... my life isn't in the best of places right now. With you almost dying and things at home," Kairi paused. "I needed someone to talk to. And Cloud's amazing, he's a great listener. Will you at least try to bring things back together with Riku? If only as a friend? I really like him."

Sora nodded, losing his will to fight back. Kairi needed stability right now- with her mother having Dissociative Identity Disorder, Kairi never wanted things to change. It was always so painful for her, and she tried so hard to work with her mom through it. Her eyes were the ocean and Sora was her anchor. And if it took him becoming friends with Riku again, he would do it. Sora wondered lightly if he really did like Riku, but stomped on the thought as it entered his mind. He couldn't fall in love. It would never be real.

And Sora wasn't willing to pay the price of privacy.

...

_There is a magical thing called "reviewing" that not only gives the author support but also tells her how to improve! You have the magic power- just a couple words can mean more than the world :) _


	7. Jagged

Who was he really doing this for? Kairi... or for himself? Did he really care?

Would Riku care?

He didn't need this. His fingers tapped against the lunch table repeatedly. The beat of his fingers mirrored his heart. "Can you stop?" A lunch tray slid over on the seat next to him, and both Kairi and Sora looked up in surprise at Riku. "I came here for lunch, but if you're going to be that irritated then I'll move somewhere else." Sora's fingers stopped tapping and Kairi sighed in relief.

"Thank you! He was killing me!" Riku chuckled deeply at the sentiment.

"I know, when I tutored him he would drive me nuts! Habits die hard, huh?" Riku smiled at Sora.

Facing people after the things you've done. The cross between the person they thought you were and the person you've become.

It was like looking into a mirror after an extreme haircut- you knew it was you, but you couldn't help but surprised each time.

So who are you? The person everyone thinks you are... or the person you are when your thoughts crawl inside your brain and you feel like you're the only one in the world?

Sora thought for a while as Riku's smile was left hanging between them. "Riku, I-"

Riku leaned in close to Sora's face. "I know." He pinched Sora's cheek. "Besides, how could I ever stay angry at someone like you?" Riku winked, his smile still in place, and Sora blushed.

"How about we hang out again sometime? And somewhere less... watery?" Kairi's smile lit up. "How about our tree house?" Sora groaned and placed his palm on his face.

"Tree... house?" Riku glanced between Sora and Kairi.

"Yeah! We used to hang out there. Fall is almost here and with the leaves changing, it's so beautiful." Kairi poked at Sora as he placed his forehead on the table.

"Not the tree house not the tree house..."

"What's wrong with the tree house?" Kairi grinned at the question.

"That's where Sora-"

"NOOOOOOOO!" Sora shouted and placed his hands over Riku's ears.

His shirt suddenly felt cold... uh oh. As Sora had rushed over to Riku's head, he spilled milk all over his shirt. Kairi laughed and Riku chuckled.

"Ugh..." When napkins wouldn't clean it off, Sora dragged Riku to the bathroom with him. He wasn't going to leave Riku alone with the tons of embarrassing childhood stories that Kairi could tell.

Sora's school, famously known as "Monstro" because it felt like it was a huge monster swallowing you up, had rooms that locked completely from the inside, a precaution against shootings. Sora locked the main door behind him, him and Riku all alone.

"Ummm..." Riku shifted from foot to foot.

Sora took a deep breath. He was going to do this. He could do it. He had to do it.

Sora slowly removed his wet shirt, revealing rows upon rows of slashes and scars, running jaggedly across his back.

...

_If you don't review, who knows what I might do XD_


	8. Chained Memories

He had know Riku for a while. They were the best of friends for the longest while. He was Sora's world and Sora was Riku's; it had been ten glorious years. Adventures and examinations, running around everywhere and doing everything... together.

It had all ended when Sora turned 10.

It was his birthday.

Sora had looked forward to this day for months. It was his special birthday, when he would finally turn to the double digits. Riku had already had his, and Sora couldn't wait until he finally aged with his best friend.

He wanted to be like the silver-haired boy, the one that was always taunting him with his own maturity. Sora could be mature, he could!

He ran out into the playground and sat in his favorite swing, Riku beside him.

"I'm so glad you're here!" The older boy smiled at him happily. Sora swung back and forth, his feet unable to skim the ground. When he was older, he would finally be able to touch it! Sora smiled back at Riku.

"Whadd'ya get me?" Sora asked him anxiously as the older boy hid his hands behind his back, shielding the present from Sora's view.

"It's a surprise!" Riku grinned and took off. "If you can catch me, you'll get it right away, but if you can't then I'll give it to you later!"

"No fair!" Sora tried to catch up but tripped on a rock. He fell to his knees, and the friction slowed him down, taking bits of his skin and blood along with it.

Sora sat and hugged his knees to his chest, and picked the flecks of stone from his skin. He sniffled and Riku heard his whimper, skidding to a stop and heading back.

"Are... are you okay?"

"Yeah..." A stray tear hit Sora's knee, blending in with the blood and turning it into a deep pink.

Riku's eyebrows pressed together in concern. "You know... they say that if someone close to someone hurt wished hard enough, the pain would go away." Riku placed himself in front of Sora, and looked at the knees. "I command you to feel better!" He told the knees. "Because if you don't, then Sora's gunna cry!"

Riku placed his lips on one knee and then the other.

"The magic kiss," Riku smiled at Sora, his now-red red lips popping against his blue eyes. "It can make anything better!" He looked at Sora. "Doesn't it feel better?"

Sora smiled tentatively. "Yeah... it really does!"

"Good." Riku pulled something out of his pocket, wrapped in blue paper. "Happy Birthday, Sora."

Sora unwrapped the present, and stared at the keychain. It was in the shape of a heart, it's ends curling into eachother. Atop of the blue keychain was a tiny golden crown.

"It's for all the places you go. That way, if you ever have somewhere important you love and keep a key to it, then you can always know that it's safe within your own heart." Riku shuffled around. "Even if you lose the key, you never lose the place." He looked at Sora hesitantly. "Do you like it?"

"I love it."

The boys played around in the sun, until it was nearly five.

"Goodnight, Riku! I'll see you tomorrow.!"

"I'll see you, Sora." They parted ways, and Sora headed home. He couldn't wait for the surprise his parents had in store! He grinned. There was no way that his parents would be able to beat the awesome gift that Riku had given him. It was amazing and so... Riku. The color of the heart matched Riku's eyes, so Sora knew that as long as he had the keychain he would never forget the memories he had with the older boy. It was his best friend, after all.

...

He knew something was wrong as soon as he entered. The stench of alcohol entered his nose and he crinkled it, hating the smell. "Mom...?"  
His father was inside the kitchen, waving a bottle filled with a clear liquid. Water... no, Sora thought. Water doesn't smell like that.

"Dad?" His mother lay still on the floor. The bottle was smeared slightly, like the color of Sora's knee right after he skid across the ground.

The man looked at the little boy. "You son of a bitch... you're the reason this happened." The man took an unsteady step and Sora flinched. "If it wasn't for you, I'd still have a fucking job. How are we going to pay the mortgage now, you bastard?" His dad's words slurred slightly.

Hadn't his father told him not to use those dirty words? The strong smelling liquid did nothing to wash away his father's anger.

"Daddy?"

"Don't you fucking call me "Daddy" you monster."

Sora hated those words. They made him feel dirty inside. The curl of his keychain dug into his hands slightly as he clutched it.

His father emptied the bottle and it crashed against the floor, splintering into thousands of pieces. His father's big, burly hands clutched at a shard, waving it toward Sora.

"You're going to pay, boy. You're going to pay for what you did to this family."

...

They lost the house. Money leaked out of their lives like a cup filled with holes, and without anyone in their family having a job they had nowhere to go.

Sora simply stopped showing up at school. He disappeared for weeks before he came back clean-shaven and new, explaining that his family had gone on an unexpected vacation.

It was illegal to hire someone under 16, but Sora didn't care. He got paid under the carpet, taking whatever they would give. He had multiple jobs, but he had a place to stay. That was most important. His mother always looked away cloudily and his father drank away whatever money Sora managed to make wiggle room for, but that was fine with Sora.

He still had a family, after all. That was all that mattered.

Riku and Sora drifted apart, and then he met Kairi.

...

Riku gaped at the scars running along Sora's back. He met Sora's eyes shyly as Sora pretended not to care. He averted his eyes and busied himself with washing his clothes.

"Thanks." Riku leaned against the wall, clearing his throat and unsure where to look.

"For what?" Sora studied his shirt with intense scrutiny.

"This."

A toilet flushed in the background. Sora and Riku froze. Leon walked out of a stall and turned on a faucet, looking at neither of them. The sink squeaked and Sora pressed his back to the wall using his damp shirt to cover his front carefully. Minutes ticked by as Leon slowly washed his hands and then dried them on his pants. Leon finally looked back at the boys as he unlocked the door.

"Next time you decide to do something private, check the stalls first." Leon locked and shut the door behind him, disappearing into the hall. Riku breathed a sigh of relief and Sora put his shirt under the dryer the moment between them lost.

"Let's hurry back before Kairi thinks we're having a different kind of private moment."

Sora and Riku trudged back silently, lost in their memories.

...

_Major thanks to _**darkwaterwolf.** _This guy just saved you all from a crappy chapter with his amazing idea. _

_Want to join his ranks? Review or inbox me! I'm always seeking helpful advice. _


	9. Stars

**"**_The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves._**"**

**...**

"I was wondering... if I could have your number? Us being friends and all, I might need to call you." Riku hopped from foot to foot.

"Uh..." Sora wondered if it was a good idea. He only had a house phone, and he wouldn't always be there to pick it up. There were limited options, but Sora decided to make it work.

There being only enough room in his apartment to need a single phone, he decided that he would do what he always did. He would keep it in his room, the ringtone on the lowest volume. It was a risk, but rejecting Riku's offer would make it seem personal.

Sora looked up at Riku and smiled. "Where do you want me to write it?"

Riku held out a sheet of paper and a blue pen. Sora snorted at the large yet girly handwriting at the top, declaring "Sora's Number" with little swirls around it.

Riku stiffened and ripped the paper away. "If you won't appreciate my handwriting, because we all know that's what you were laughing at- then I don't want your handwriting to ruin the page."

"Hey!" Sora struggled for the paper as Riku deftly turned and blocked his efforts.

Riku smirked and handed the page to Sora, resisting the urge to pat Sora's head like he used to, when Sora didn't have a care in the world and Riku didn't...

When Riku was still Riku.

"I could've gotten it on my own..." Sora pouted as he scribbled his number down. Riku took the pen and paper, avoiding touching Sora's fingers. "What, you're too good to touch me?" Sora taunted, standing on his tippy toes to gain a few inches as he looked directly in Riku's eyes.

"Like I would want to touch you, you little monster."

Riku faked a smile and Sora pretended like those words didn't hurt. Remembering things they both had tried so hard to forget, to ignore. But you can't escape the past.

The problem with becoming close to someone, Sora thought, is that they also get close to you.

...

"H-hey... Sora." There was a slight tremble in the voice.

Sora rubbed his eyes and moaned. "What's up, Riku." He shifted the phone to his other ear and sat up slowly. As his location finally registered he leaned against his window sill, looking out at the full moon hovering in the sky; the stars gleaming, flickering in and out. Sora loved to watch them as he fell asleep, like he could leave all his worries inside of the stars.

Sora didn't even need to look at the clock to know it was early in the morning. He knew he he should give Riku hell for calling so early, but something told him not to.

"I had a," Riku choked. "I had a bad dream." His usually smooth voice was rough and clogged with painful emotion.

Sora had never called Riku at night. There never was any reason. He always had his mother and father to turn to, both of them able to fight off the monsters Sora didn't want to face.

But when Sora finally had the birthday he had been waiting for, he realized that the monsters were never under the beds.

They were inside the people.

"Do you want me to come over?" Sora asked him, tender but determined. Sora wanted to be there when no one else could. Even if they had slowly come apart, they were never completely gone from eachother. Sora fingered his keychain.

"No... it's fine. I just wanted to hear your voice." To chase the other voices away- the unspoken words that didn't need to be said. There was a silence, with only an occasional shivering breath breaking through. "Tell me a story?" Riku provoked, his voice reeking of desperation.

"Sure." Sora's voice began slowly, his voice soothing and soft as he repeated the only story his mother had told him.

...

_When the world started, there was nothing but the Sky and Land. They intertwined perfectly- where ever one went, the other was there. They were never apart._

_Then came Separation. Sky and Land craved her, and all the beautiful things she betowed upon them. Land suddenly had plants and Sky had stars. They wanted Separation more than they appreciated eachother as the days flew by. They soon began to forget eachother's friendship, viewing it as only competition for Separation's love._

_But then Separation gave Sky the largest star of all, a Sun, and gave Land large bodies of water. And as the day set between them, and the Sky's sun fell and the Land's water glistened, they realized how far their infatuation had torn them apart. They realized that no matter how far they reached, they could never touch again._

_Only at the farthest point of the globe will it seem as though the Sky is finally touching the Land again, but even then it is nothing but an illusion._

_For Land and Sky had lost themselves in Separation, and now Separation would forever be between them._

...

Riku's breath had evened out, and by the time Sora had finished the story the older boy had fallen asleep.

Sora listened to the breathy whispers that Riku made as he slept. "Goodnight, Riku." His phone clicked off.

Sora stared off at the stars. How he wished he could touch them.

...

_I didn't like this chapter. Writing it felt awkward in a sense. Review? _


	10. Abyss

"Don't give up." Sora pulled on Riku's shirt. Riku's breath hitched, his skin prickled.

They say that there are two separate parts of us that remember. Our bodies, and our minds.

Riku's mind tried to forget, but the memory leaked into his thoughts.

Riku's body tried to forget, but every person shoved against him only spurred his body's cowering reaction.

It takes more than strength to live. It takes friendship to heal a heart. It takes love. It takes something more than a single person can conjure to keep us whole- at the very least, alive.

Strength can weaken, can be taken away.

But it can always be rebuilt.

"Don't give up." Sora repeated, watching Riku's tense reaction. "I think that... when bad things happen, it can be fixed. It can be fixed with the strength of two people's hearts working together, pushing against the current."

They were alone. They had begun to walk to school together, silently sometimes, but other times it was filled with laughter or quite musings. Riku never talked about the sounds coming from Sora's house, and Sora didn't ask why Riku didn't want to walk alone. They completed eachother- Sora wanted someone to escape to and Riku wanted someone to stay with him.

It was warmth they both craved. They hid behind their plastic facades, running from reality. Both craved warmth, while one couldn't touch and the other was too scarred to be touched.

But while shells are made out of plastic, they can be melted from the hearts within.

There is always the ultimatum. Plastic can melt off, or it can melt onto them.

"I was walking to your house when it happened." Riku whispered silently, his eyes roaming the cracks on the pavement as they walked forward slowly. "I never forgot you, you know? It's been what- 4, 5 years? I missed you. I missed your stubbornness, your strength. When you left, everyone wanted to be my new best friend. But they were different. One quick smile in their direction, and they forgot their resolve. They forgot what mattered, all because of a pretty face." Riku kicked a stone in his path, watching it as it ricocheted against the ground. "I didn't want to give you up. I don't know why it took so long for me to finally get up my nerve and hunt you down. Maybe I was afraid that it was something I did, that you hated me. Your eyes were so dark, so tormented. You used to look like you wanted to fly but something began to pull you down."

Sora watched as Riku toyed with a silver strand before putting his hands in his pockets and staring at the sky. Sora said nothing, simply walking along with him.

"I decided that I wasn't going to let you pull us apart. We were stronger than that, and we would always be together. I was going to march on over to your house and drag you to our playground and remind you of our declaration for a never-ending friendship. It was so warm, so hot that day." Riku's eyes began to darken. His hands slid out of his pockets and clenched into a fist. "I always thought I was so strong. I was an athlete, I could take on anything and anyone. I was wrong."

Sora's throat tightened. He hoped that he was wrong, wished that he was wrong. He wanted nothing more than to be wrong at that moment. And from that moment on, Sora cursed the day that he turned 10.

"I can still remember his arms around me, constricting my body. I could feel the sinews in his flesh as I shuddered beneath him." Riku shivered from the memory. "I'll never forget it. Not while I live. Not even after I die. It'll never go away. When he entered me, he ripped something away." Riku paused, taking a deep breath.

"I've nearly lost myself, again and again. But you keep pushing against me, keeping me alive. I'm not sure that's a good thing anymore, me being the way I am now. But thank you. I owe you my life." Riku finally looked into Sora's eyes. They were deep and blue, like standing at the edge of a cliff and into the tumbling waves below.

"You didn't stop being human. I'm not going to let you- not even if you try to stop yourself." Riku nearly laughed at Sora's grim determination before remembering the situation.

"What creates a human? Memories? Free will? Feelings? A soul?" Riku shook his head. "My soul is long since ruined. I don't even think I have one anymore."

"You can't love someone if they don't have a soul. You can't hold someone's heart in your hands if you don't have one of your own. You're still human. It's painful and beautiful but it will never go away. And even when it seems like the rest of the world doesn't accept you, I'll still be there." Sora placed his arms on Riku's shoulders, and held on despite the flinching. He pulled Riku against him, placing his arms around Riku in a tight hugs. Riku strained against Sora before he finally gave in to the warm body. "You held me when I was dying. You forgot your problems, if only for an instant, to help me. I'm going to help you. I remember that oath we made on the playground that day. And I'm going to keep it."

The sun glittered above them. When you stare into the abyss, the abyss also stares into you. But that doesn't mean you have to be swallowed by the darkness.

...

_Use your magic powers and type a few words up. It hardly takes time but does create a smile. _


	11. Undaunting Memories

It was gym. The requirement for physical activity in the second semester- something that both Riku and Sora now had at the same time. It was gym that would begin to tear Riku's soul apart, with summer slowly approaching.

The stress of running, the endurance required- that was enough for Sora to get bored. Sticky bodies running in circles like sheep were never his thing- he wanted to run freely, to run with a purpose. But with Riku there, by his side, it didn't bother him as much.

"Slow-poke!" Riku smiled as he rushed to gym class with Sora lagging behind, Yuffie giggling at his side. Sora didn't mind the strong, energetic girl. She would be joining them in this class, making jokes and smiling prettily. With both of his friends at his side, he wouldn't mind it that much at all, Sora thought.

The principle stood at the center of the court, his voice booming at the kids on the bleachers. Sora sat with Yuffie on one side and Riku on the other. He smiled- it looked like this was actually going to be a fun class. The principle stood with a blue vest and semi-long brown hair. Sora could never remember the man's name...

"... and so Wakka will not be able to teach this semester's physical education class." Sora's ears perked up. Damn, he had missed something important again, hadn't he? "Your new temporary teacher will be Ansem. As I have reassured your parents with that letter we sent home a week ago, Ansem has amazing credentials. Please welcome him as your new teacher."

A man with flowing white hair and deep orange eyes appraised the crowd as he stepped out and into the court. His eyes landed on Riku as he reached the podium and lowered his lips to it. "It's been wonderful meeting you all. I'm sure we'll have lots of fun." His lips twitched upwardly in a sly smile, staring at Riku.

Sora turned to face Riku. There was that look again. That look of emptiness, of hidden fear. The look of someone standing on the edge of sanity and willing to jump just so that they could be far away from that moment in time, to be free of reality.

Riku's fingers sought out Sora's and he clenched them tightly. His eyes met Sora's and he whispered something, his teeth clenched in pain.

"I finally..." He closed his eyes tightly before opening them again. "I figured out why he was walking along the same path as me that day. He was headed for a job application." The road that Sora and Riku had taken together all that time, the road from Riku's house to Sora's and finally to the school they shared- it was now violated. It was shared with a painful memory. A memory that would now be walking amongst them, a constant reminder of everything Riku had endured.

Sora had begun to dread gym.

But deep down, he knew that it wasn't his right to feel that way. Because he knew that Riku was going to feel so much worse.

It's one thing to try to get over a painful memory. It's another thing to do it while facing the very thing that caused that memory in the first place.

...

_I'd like to thank those that have reviewed. You make me smile, and when I do that it's less likely that Riku's going to do something... rash. _

_Shall we find out what that is, or will you review? :P_

_(hehe, kidding. Though it does make me glad that people care!) _


	12. Leech

How does someone handle a stressful situation? Run away, pretend it doesn't matter, drink their way to a different world?

There are so many different ways. Yet while the world tells you the many different ways to handle a stressful situation, they don't tell you how to deal with your emotions. There isn't a guidebook, a simple way to make yourself feel better.

It takes effort, and strength. Each unique person has a unique way to try and heal themselves, or at the very least escape.

But what do you do when the stress keeps piling on?

If you cannot run, if you cannot hide, if it centers around you like your pain is the only thing that matters in this world or the next, what do you do?

How do you survive?

...

It has started in gym, but it had leeched into their lives.

Minutes ticked by slowly as Sora stood by his friend, trying to shield him from Ansem's eyes. But as his watchful, predatory gaze never wavered, Riku began to lose himself.

Sora was prepared for racing, for fun. But while fun is temporary, darkness is always there to take you when your joy blinks out.

It is there to swallow you, to force itself into your body until it reaches your soul. To burn its way into your very essence.

Because when bad things happen and you cannot hold your own, the darkness eats away at your being. That's when you become heartless.

The pain weighs you down until your very humanity is gone, and there is nothing left but a body that has had all love and life ripped out of it, slowly and carefully and completely.

While you want smiles to last an eternity, it only lasts as long as time allows.

Riku's hand rose unsteadily, calling Ansem's attention during the game- not that Ansem's attention was ever anywhere else. Riku shifted forward slowly, and Sora trailed behind, unsure of where to go.

Yuffie hit the volleyball and whispered to Sora once she noticed them moving. "Where are you guys going? And isn't..." she hesitated, looking around. "Isn't Ansem kind of weird? Though he is kind of cute." She smiled and tried to lighten the situation, but Sora only looked back at her seriously. She was lifting her arm to pat him before he pulled her arm aside, stopping him from touching her.

"No, Yuffie. Ansem isn't cute at all." Yuffie's eyes widened at Sora's monotone voice and her arm dropped to her side. Wasn't Sora the all-smiling bundle of happiness? Their conversation was cut short by Riku calling his name quietly in the court.

"Sora?" Riku's voice quivered. "Will you come to the bathroom with me?"

"Now, now, Riku. This isn't preschool. You can do things on your own, can't you?" Ansem taunted him, raising his eyebrow. Riku stifled a shiver.

"Yes, sir."

"I do prefer it when you call out my name, Riku. 'Ansem' is fine." Riku's eyes clouded by the second.

"Yes... Ansem." Ansem licked his lips as the boy passed him.

"One more thing, Riku." He grabbed his arm to stop Riku from leaving the room altogether. Riku cringed visibly, his breath coming out in short pants. "Don't be late. I'd hate for you to miss more class time."

Ansem held Riku's arm, waiting for a response. Riku closed his eyes, beads of sweat on his forehead. "Okay, Ansem." Riku nearly fell over when Ansem released his grip, and Riku grimaced.

He sent Sora one last desperate glance before he shuffled to the bathroom and disappeared from sight.

Ansem glanced around the room. "Alright class, use these last few minutes in class to clean up! Put the nets away and make sure not to leave a mess in the storage!" His deep voice boomed around the room, echoing around and surrounding Soras's ears. He could do nothing but watch as Ansem had ripped away Riku's happiness.

...

Ansem trailed behind them, talking with Aerith as she chattered happily. Riku seemed to wince with every word spoken from the man's mouth. Everyone seemed to respect Ansem, and Sora hated it. They could not see past the charismatic exterior, and as all his friends fell to Ansem's smile, Sora's heart clenched.

Riku said nothing once he returned to the bathroom, nor when they headed to Geometry together. Even as the sun smiled behind clouds on their way home after class, nothing changed.

Ansem maintained a steady pace behind them, and sweat trickled down Sora's neck despite the cold. As they passed Sora's house, Riku reluctantly paused. Sora continued walking, and Riku followed- confused but accepting. Their wordless exchange said that Sora wasn't going to leave Riku alone- not right now, not like this.

The sun began to set behind them once they had reached Riku's house. Sora walked to Riku's doorstep and waited for Riku to open the door before he finally turned and said goodbye, heading home. He saw Ansem sizing up the location of the house, Aerith long since gone.

Sora turned back once more. "I'll pick you up tomorrow. Call me if you need anything." He walked along the path to his house, purposefully avoiding Ansem's eyes. Ansem smirked in a knowing dominance, as though Sora were scared.

Sora continued on the pavement, forcefully pushing against Ansem's shoulder as he walked past. Sora didn't turn around, or apologize. He simply ignored Ansem's existence.

It was not a man that had hurt his best friend, but an animal. And as an animal, Ansem didn't deserve Sora's respect.

Sora walked toward his door, pausing before he entered. He turned his back flat against it and slid down. His head thumped against his knees as he held them close. He released his emotions, torn between anger and pain for his friend and what was done to him. It was like the torture never ended for Riku, and Sora could only watch his friend being torn apart from the inside. "Fuck."

Sora listened to the steady thump of his father wandering the kitchen, wondering why his stupid son was late.

Sora took a deep breath. He clutched at the doorknob and pulled himself up, pulling out his keys. The keychain clinked against them, metal on metal.

He didn't want to lose his place in Riku's heart.

Sora was afraid that if time didn't heal Riku's wounds, he couldn't either.

...

_I'm sorry. It's not as good as I planned. _


	13. Echoes

"Are you going to report him?" A cold wind ruffled through Sora's hair, lifting it and trying to carry it away with the wind. It floated above him before settling down on his nape, forming spikes. Riku had worn his silvery hair in a ponytail, his neck bare against the cold winds.

"No." Sora had woken up early for the first time in a while, his body sore. He didn't regret it though, not for a moment. Ansem was no where to be seen, but Sora assumed that Ansem would make plenty of adjustments to his schedule, making sure that he could follow Riku with a reasonable excuse. If that did happen, Sora would be there. It would be tough, trying to wake up early every morning. Especially during the first few days.

But it was worth it.

For his friend, Sora would do anything.

"Why not?" Sora pretended to be inquisitive, instead of showing his burning anger at Ansem.

"Because it doesn't matter." Riku's voice was soft. Sora's fingers twitched, and he glared at the sky.

"Why not?" Sora repeated, gritting his teeth. "After what he did to you... how can you say it doesn't matter? How can you leave it alone? How can you not want to hunt him down while he's sleeping and make him pay for what he did to you? I'd be by your side, even if you wanted to do that." Sora clenched his fist. "If it would make you feel better, I would do it."

"Because, Sora." Riku's eyes glistened. The sun rose behind their backs, casting beautiful colors that reflected through the saltwater in his eyes. "Because it already happened. It happened in the summer, and I was alone, and NOTHING IS EVER GOING TO CHANGE THAT!" Riku's voice rose louder and louder until he was screaming, his words echoing around the houses around them. The empty street seemed to repeat his words. "Nothing is ever going to change that... nothing is ever going to change that... nothing is ever..."

And suddenly Sora was left alone with those words, haunting him as Riku walked past him. As Riku walked without him.

And beyond those words, Sora heard something else.

"And it's all your fault. If you hadn't left Riku that day, if you had come to him instead, if you had remained friends, none of this would have happened. Riku would be fine and you would be laughing right now, Kairi at your side.

But you didn't, did you? You didn't come back for him. You didn't walk with him that day.

And this is all your fault."

Sora trudged forward, Riku already gone. He winced as his shoulder awoke with pain. It was as though his scars were coming alive, throbbing against his skin.

It was all his fault.

...

The winter formal was coming. Kairi had already gone shopping with Yuffie and Aerith, as Sora had found out oh-so-painfully through their jumbled squeals of joy.

Sora groaned at their growing enthusiasm considering dates. His despair attracted their attention and Sora regretted ever making a sound.

"Sooo, Sora." Kairi giggled. "Who's your date?"Now that Kairi was all hopped-up on dating juices, Sora missed the days where dances didn't matter. At their old school, it was just them. Her adventurous, persistent nature called to Sora.

"I- I don't know. I haven't asked anyone yet." Sora muttered. Yuffie watched him silently and intently, unlike her usual cheerful self.

Kairi poked him. "You better ask someone soon!" She winked at him and glanced at Yuffie before returning her gaze to Sora. "Or all the pretty ones will be taken!" The warning bell rung, and lunch was almost over. Sora was grateful for the reprieve from his torture.

Riku slid down next to Sora. "Yeah, right. Like Sora could get a girl." There was an emptiness to his words. It was an unheard echo, Ansem's voice replacing Riku's. As though he were inside Riku's head, pulling strings.

The bell rung again. Kairi yanked Riku and Sora's hands, yanking them out of their seats, and Riku hissed and yanked his arm back. "Riku? We're going to be late."

"Go on, Kairi." Sora stared harshly into Riku's eyes as the girl paused and watched the tension rise between them.

"I'll... see you in art, Sora." The girl gave them an unsure glance and walked away, picking up speed as the last of the students trickled out of the lunch room, hurrying to their next class.

They stood, unmoving, watching eachother. Their breaths sounded louder in the white room, bouncing along the walls.

A slap resounded suddenly through the air. Riku cradled his cheek, his eyes wide.

"You!" Sora pointed his finger at Riku, pacing side to side. "You don't get to decide that it doesn't matter! And no- you CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST, BUT YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR FUTURE!" Sora's eyes burned with pent up anger at his best friend. "HOW CAN YOU GIVE UP? How can you give up like this?" His voice faded to a whimper.

He pulled Riku into his arms, refusing to let go. "Didn't I tell you that I was going to be there? I don't care if that fucking bastard follows you around and makes googly-stalker eyes at you. I wasn't there when you needed me but I'll be there now. Always." He pulled Riku's hair out of it's ponytail, stroking Riku's head as the boy muffled his sobs in Sora's shirt. Sora hated Riku's hair constrained like that, forced back against their natural state. He preferred it floating around Riku's face. The silver strands flowed down as they were unleashed. They warmed Sora's face as they brushed against him. He clutched the blue rubber band that had held Riku's hair and decided that he was going to destroy it.

He didn't want anything to be less than perfect for his closest friend.

"It's the funniest thing." Riku whispered. Sora's shirt felt a slight pitter-patter of wetness. "Who knew that this would only bring us together?"

"Awwwwwww. Now isn't that the sweetest scene? I'd like you both to explain that to me in detention after school today. Maybe some alone time will improve your attendance record." Ansem leaned against the door, and Sora stared at him. Ansem blinked back lazily, as though he couldn't care less what Sora thought of him.

It was only Riku he cared about, after all.

Sora stood in front of Riku, blocking him from view. "Yeah, I'd like the pleasure to meet with you one-on-one someday, Ansem. Maybe you could learn a lesson or two from your students."

Ansem straightened himself, stepping from the doorway. He clicked his tongue in disappointment. "Don't bite off more than you can chew, Sora. We both know it wouldn't be very good for Riku if you were the one bitten instead." Ansem stepped toward the door.

"I'll be expecting you both after school. But I'll accept Riku alone if you want." Ansem winked, his bronze eye gleaming. He finally turned and left, and Sora felt Riku's head thump against his back. "It'll be okay, Riku. It'll be okay." Sora promised. He was an oathkeeper, and he would keep his promise. Ansem wasn't going to lay a hand on Riku.

Sora would protect him.

But things don't always go as planned, do they?

His 10th birthday echoed in his mind as he steered Riku to his class, then headed to his own.

We are only echoes of the person we were yesterday, constantly changing and evolving into something lesser because of the things taken away with time.

...

_Less disjointed? I write whatever, and I didn't realize that the parts weren't... properly connected :P_

_I apologize for your suffering. I'll definitely try to improve and go over and repolish things, thanks anon!_

_I appreciate you reading. I feel like an awful writer, I'm sorry for what I've put you through! _


	14. Done

_Hey guys. I'm sorry to have done this to you, but I'm done. _

_I might continue this series again in a few weeks, but I don't think I'm up for writing now. I don't know if I'll ever continue again. _

_I'm sorry. _


	15. Freedom

There was something about him. Toxic. Alluring. Broken yet still there, just enough so that he wouldn't stop screaming even after his voice was raw.

Bucking and punching long after it was far too late.

He loved the way blood smeared against the pale skin when the pavement rubbed against his cheek again and again, burning the memory into his face.

He loved the sound of pain. There was pain in his actions and his words.

He liked him like that. He liked him torn and bloody and lost. He wanted him to be lost. He would be weaker that way- but as long as he knew where to search for, that there was something else out there, he would still scream.

He loved it when he screamed.

...

Riku whimpered. It would be alright. It would be alright. Sora was going to make it better.

But time had passed. Did he really know Sora anymore? How much had the boy changed?

Would he turn on Riku, leave him for a fate worse than death?

Because death is final, but pain is not. It will always be there to haunt you in your nightmares- but it always spawns in reality.

There is no running away.

Not from Ansem, not from his memories. Not from the pain.

He wondered if he should simply give up. There was nothing left but pain.

And it would never go away.

...

Sora's heart thumped. It thudded against his skin, trying to break free from his scarred body.

But it would always be stuck inside of there, until he shut it off.

He couldn't leave Riku, could he?

He couldn't leave Riku with that monster. Riku, trying to fend him off, but unable to. Because while Riku was an athlete, that didn't change the fact that Ansem had done it before. Would Riku even resist, or just lay down on the floor, hopeless, broken?

Sora wondered if it would matter if he was gone. There was nothing left in life other than living.

But when he went home, when his father beat him senseless and his mother didn't care- was that even considered living?

When he lay there, bloody and broken, was that any different than what Riku had endured? Didn't he deserve an escape route?

When he lay there and his own father, the one that was meant to love him unconditionally, broke his skin and his heart- didn't that give Sora the right to do what he wanted?

He wondered what would happen to them after he left. Would his father start on his mother? The defenseless mother that never came to his defense, would she be next?

Would they run out of food? Would his father drink up all the beer and wait for his son to come home, only to continue waiting? If he ever did decide to come after his son and found the body, what would he do? Simply beat the lifeless body again and again, yelling at an unhearing boy?

When Sora didn't even get a chance to become a teenager...

It simply left him with an adult mind that wasn't prepared.

He wasn't prepared when he turned 10.

Maybe he was finally ready now.

...

_Thank xionevermore. Or hate her. She's the reason I bothered updating. _

_Review. Don't. It's up to you, right? Power of will?_

_This chapter is purposefully disjointed. It's to show the full extent of the wonderfully tortured character's mental statuses. _

_It only gets worse from here. _

_Maybe you'll finally stop reading. _


	16. Actions

Is this what it had really come to? Cowering, hiding inside yourself so far and so deep that you simply stopped existing?

Snuffing your light on your own, simply because you couldn't stand reality?

Resisting existence because of a single man, a single moment, a single life?

Riku stood up straight. He wouldn't let a beast control his life. He was better than that.

For the damage that that moment had done to him, he would fix it. He didn't need to rely on anyone.

He was stronger than that.

...

"Sora, I'd like to see you. We need to talk about your grades." Cid announced, and Sora looked at Riku, unsure of what to do. Riku took his chance and slipped out of Geometry and headed quickly to gym.

He needed to face Ansem on his own.

Only he could fix what had been broken and taken away.

...

Riku stared at the menacing white doors, beckoning him. Calling to him.

He could do this.

Riku placed a hand on the door and pushed, opening it. Was he ready to open the door? Should Sora have done it instead?

Should he have left the door closed, leaving the darkness locked inside?

But it was too late. Riku had let the door squeak open, and all that was left was for the darkness to encompass him as he wandered into the dimly lit room.

...

Whispers and chuckles dug into Riku's brain as they echoed inside the empty room.

His shadow stretched beside him as he headed into Ansem's office. Riku struggled with himself as his memories enveloped him. His breath turned into short pants as he remembered what had taken ever ounce of his being to try and forget... but he couldn't.

It was what he thought of as he lay stiffly in bed. It was what he dreamt about as he tossed and turned and little beads of sweat clung to his skin. It was the memory that clouded his thoughts every single day. Until Sora had come into his life.

Sora.

Riku tried to remember him. Sora smiling. Sora staring off listlessly as his fingers ran across the paper in a deep and beautiful trance. Sora trying to stop Kairi from spilling childhood secrets.

Sora lifting up his shirt, exposing muscles and puckered skin. Sora looking away, shy. Riku had wanted to hold him so badly, to take away the pain. To make it all better.

Riku clenched his fist.

He could do this.

His breathing evened once again. His shadow receded into him as he stepped into the light of Ansem's office.

And when he saw an orange, gleaming eye staring at him, he did what had haunted his nightmares. The action that he hadn't taken before that caused this all to happen.

Riku took a step forward, lifted his arm, and swung his fist.

...

It never connected.

...

_Fate. Destiny. _

_Do you believe in it? What made you read this?_

_What is the origin of our actions? When you trace back in time, does it ever end?_

_Review. _


	17. Forsaken Sanctuaries

It never connected.

...

Actions. The ones we take, the ones we should have. The ones that kill us everyday because we took a risk and it backfired.

The ones that we remember.

The ones that haunt our soul.

The ones that will never, ever go away.

...

It never connected.

Riku was foolish. He had tried to take fate into his own hands. He had tried to control destiny.

But he didn't have enough power to do it.

His fist was in Ansem's hand. It had never connected, it had been deflected. Captured.

The warm, human skin held Riku.

Pinned him down.

It held him there.

Ansem stroked Riku's hair. His own hair caressed the boy's cheek as it flowed down on top of him.

Riku's heart clenched. He wouldn't survive it, not this time. Not again. His heart was a shattered mess and nothing could ever fix it if this happened again.

...

"I still want to talk to your parents. Your grades have improved drastically, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm worried about you."

Sora had a choice to make. He couldn't give up his personal life. He could beg, he could plead. If the school found out about his parents, it would be over.

They would send him away to a foster home. He would receive endless pity. Sora wouldn't be able to take that. Not again.

But as he considered these things, seconds ticked down. Seconds of Riku alone with Ansem.

Sora pulled the slip out of Cid's hand and rushed to the gym.

He hoped he wouldn't be too late.

He hoped that time would slow down, just for him. That he could magically stop Ansem in his tracks.

But he had no magic here.

No power.

Nothing but his will.

...

He heard Riku's voice burning it's way angrily through the doors. Sora pulled them open, straining against their weight. They yanked open with a final tug, thumping against the wall.

Sora rushed to the door, sealing his fate. Sealing the fates of all those connected to his heart. One sky, one destiny.

"I will fight, and I may fall- but I will not give in. Don't think for an instance that I would ever give in. I have spent too much of my life already on the likes of you- and I won't spend another instant." Riku was giving up his sanctuary. He was going to leave his shell. He wouldn't be held back by his past and all the things he should've done.

Knees smashing. Blood spurting out.

Freedom.

He wouldn't give in. Not after all this time with Sora- learning what it was like to be human again. To love, and be loved. To be happy.

To be strong again.

He could feel the power running through his veins. He could feel the energy coursing through his entire body as Ansem lay there.

The power of seeing the man that had made him scream and beg now at HIS feet.

His arms stretched out, reaching toward the sky.

Sora's feet thumped rhythmically toward Riku.

"Riku...?"

Riku faced the younger boy and grinned slyly, winking. "Giving up already?" He put his outstretched arms on Sora's chest, rubbing his fingers through the thin fabric and stroking the scars underneath. "Can you feel it?" He leaned in close, his head by Sora's ear. "You're alive." He whispered.

The ability to protect the ones we love. The ability to understand that they can no longer be protected- that they don't need your protection.

To understand that one day, they will need you again.

Ansem groaned. Sora placed his arm around Riku's shoulder, and pulled him to the door.

Ansem simply grinned as the boys left. It took real talent to lay there, pretending to have been beaten by a single strong-hearted blow. Did they think it was that easy?

Assuming victory too early is a fatal flaw.

Fatal, indeed.

...

_So, tell me about yourself. It doesn't even have to be a review- you can certainly review, but I'd like to know who YOU are- the things you like, the things you do. _

_Who are you?_

_And if you'd rather PM me, I'm fine with that as well. _


	18. Streams of Sunlight

Their feet hit the ground rhythmically together. Thud, thud, thud. Sora ran his hands through his hair, unsure of Riku's reactions to Ansem laying there. He wouldn't forget Riku's face- overjoyed. Free. Happy. Crazed with glee.

But there was a darkness inside that look- and deep and power hunger. Sora wasn't sure what it would develop into, and he wasn't sure he could stop it either.

The things that haunt you will always come back. You may forget them in the light of day, but when the sun settles back into the night and the moon glows, they will come back.

Can you walk away, with the moon burning into your back with the echoes of sunlight?

But don't be afraid. While the sun may leave, the moon will be there to guide you through the darkness. No matter how dark the night gets, there will always be a light somewhere. You just have to search for it- but it's worth it.

The smallest of lights look the most beautiful when surrounded by the darkest of night.

"Remember what Kairi said before, when the milk spilled all over your shirt?" Riku walked side by side with Sora, heading home. "Tell me what you guys had done at the treehouse when you were little." His voice filled the silence between them- separating Sora and Riku from their secluded worlds and bringing them into back to the physical realm.

"We climbed all the way to the top and I pulled her up into the house. She had put flowers all around, and I picked up a couple scented candles. I lit them and the place smelled great. I... I asked her to marry me. I told her that when we were older, we would be together, forever." Sora laughed. "I remember those carefree days..." Sora frowned. "But I had left one of the candles burning. After we left, the tree burned down. It nearly caused a forest fire, but someone caught it in time. The tree house didn't survive..."

_Bastard. You were never supposed to exist. No one will ever, ever love a monster like you._

Sora gazed at the sky. He wondered if life would ever change. He wondered if he would be stuck in that hellhole for the rest of his life, wasting away with the cruel words and biting fists.

If there was another path for him out there, did it lie within that slip of paper he held in his hands, dictating that his parents decide his future? Parents that were simply the people that created him, and nothing more?

Did it lie within Riku? The Riku that thought he was better than everyone else, that believed in his friends, the Riku that had brought him back to life?

Because he did owe it all to Riku. Watching the older boy branch out without him when they were children, talking with other people after Sora had left... it had given Sora hope. If Riku could get over anything, even his best friend leaving him, so could Sora.

So Sora began to smile for the first time since his father had begun to hit him. It was hard at first- but the more he began to smile, the easier it was to mask the pain within. The pain all over his body. The pain in his heart.

He couldn't allow himself to become friends with Riku again- not without the boy beginning to suspect things and bringing up painful memories. Sora was satisfied with watching him from afar, watching Riku grow and mature with a playful glint in his eye.

Until that glint had left him.

If Sora stared deeply into Riku's eyes, he could see it burning now- 5 years after his 10th birthday and months after school started. Months since Ansem. Hours since revenge.

He stopped walking. The sun was so pretty, and it was almost twilight. He stared mesmerized by the beautiful colors. He couldn't think. "Hey Riku... what would you say if I told you that my parents abused me?" The words slipped out as his eyes traced over the clouds and his fingers itched.

A gusty wind broke through Sora's senses. After all these years... why now? Why had he finally given in to temptation? Not to the counselor when she pressed, not to comforting Kairi, but to the boy he had spent 5 years away from.

Riku paused a few feet in front of Sora, and he couldn't see Riku's face. "I'd ask if you wanted to sleep over this weekend."

"...Oh." Sora breathed a sigh of relief. "Hey Riku?" Sora caught up with the older boy and continued walking.

"Yeah?"

"Are you doing anything this weekend?"

...

_I've defeated Ansem! I've defeated all of Organization X111! So when I say __**review**__, you ask "how much?"_

_And the answer is, of course, as much as you possibly can. _

_Because I wield the Keyblade. _


	19. Strawberries

"Welcome to my humble abode." Riku gestured to the white, large home. Pristine chandeliers and golden knobs invaded Sora's vision, along with spiraling steps that seemed infinitely long. Simply the entrance was bigger than his entire apartment! Sora knew Riku lived in a wealthy neighborhood, but they had spent most of their time hanging out outside. After all, the home is where the heart is.

And when the heart is shrouded in darkness, the home is where it all begins.

Sora placed his sleeping bag lightly on the doorstep. As he stepped farther into the house, he noticed how Riku's cool demeanor fit with the place- it was as though Riku belonged there.

Sora stretched. "Have you been waiting long? I know I'm a bit late, but I got caught up in some things." He had made sure to prepare the fridge with plenty of already-cooked meals and beer to sate his father's wrath when he left for the weekend.

"It's fine." Riku headed quickly up the stairs, bounding through them like he'd done it a thousand times before. "Come on up. You can get settled in the guest room and I'll go make us something to eat."

Sora lifted up his pack and shyly headed upwards before he was how far ahead Riku was. He began to climb up faster and harder, but unable to completely catch up with the extra weight on his back.

...

He was breathless by the time he arrived. Sora panted and fell down onto his bed, resisting the urge to fall asleep completely. The bed was like heaven!

He groaned when a sudden weight hit him upside the head. He realized that Riku had thrown his bag at him, and was now chuckling softly. "Get up! You're so lazy. Go on and take a shower- you're sweaty, too. I'll be downstairs. It's pretty early, so I'll make scrambled eggs. Call if you need anything!" Riku disappeared and Sora moaned as he began to pull himself up and towards the room that was most likely the bathroom.

He bristled at all the girly products in the room. Pink "cherry" scented bottles, "strawberry" scented bottles, and all kinds of shampoos and conditioners that were fruity and purple. There wasn't a single bottle of plain soap in the room. He was going to regret showering so early, he knew it.

The bathroom was covered in mirrors. As Sora pulled his shirt up, rows upon rows of scars displayed themselves at him. Most were hidden deep inside his heart. He sighed and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. When he was finished undressing, he settled himself into the warm water and decided on strawberry shampoo and conditioner. At least he was going to smell... interesting.

...

Oh crap, Sora thought. He had forgotten to bring fresh clothes into the bathroom with him. He found a single towel and wrapped it around his waist. His hair felt strangely... free and light with the use of the girly products. He didn't mind the sweet smell of strawberries- he used to go out and pick them with his mother... before he turned 10.

His life was a before and after. Before he had turned 10, and... his life after.

The smell of sizzling bacon wafted into Sora's mouth and he began to salivate. Wonderful, greasy bacon.

Sora hurried and put on his boxers, excited for the delicious meal Riku had in store. He could almost taste it in his mouth...

Sora was yanking on his shorts, shirtless, when Riku walked in with a pan. " I forgot to ask- sunny side up or scrambled? As the excellent cook that I am, I can-"

Riku's voice dropped down to a whisper as he saw Sora wet and shirtless in front of him.

Sora fought the urge to wrap his arms around his body and hide his scars from view. "Nothin' you haven't seen before." Sora murmured.

Riku coughed. "Yeah. I'll let you... get changed... or something..." Sora blushed and avoided looking at Riku's face.

He was sure that if he did, he would see nothing but disgust.

...

_See that precipice? That long, deep drop? I'm right on the edge. If pushed, I will fall far into that cliff of lemoney-goodness._

_But only if I'm pushed._


	20. Sleep

Sora slipped on his shirt and headed downstairs. A cake lay spread on top of the counter, perfect and ready for eating. His eyes narrowed in on its delectable whipped creme, the strawberries that floated on top, and the oozing of fruits from it's core. He peeked around the room. With no Riku in sight, he quickly rushed into the kitchen and tiptoed to the cake.

Sora's fingers dipped toward the cake. Riku wouldn't notice if a few strawberries went missing, right? His fingers whispered around a plump, juicy strawberry before the cake was yanked away before his eyes. "Wha-"

Riku whacked him on the head. "No touching the dessert before it's ready. No touching anything, for that matter."

Sora's hands grabbed greedily for the cake that Riku held beyond his reach. "Fine then." Sora pouted and crossed his arms, turning away from Riku. He waited a few seconds for Riku to be off his guard before he pounced right back at him, reaching for the cake.

Riku raised an eyebrow. "Did you really believe I would fall for that? His arm was still in place, holding Sora back. "I remember you doing that when I was a kid. You still haven't changed, kid. Do you remember? With the crown necklace..."

Sora grinned. "Of course I remember. Hey, what ever happened to that thing anyway?"

Riku shrugged, setting the cake down. "It's metal. I didn't want it to rust, so I've kept it away all these years. Sea air does horrible things to shiny objects."

...

_"Rikkuuuuuuuu! I wanna see!" Riku held Sora at bay as he desperately reached for the beautiful crown necklace. It glimmered and shined, reflecting the sun's rays so clearly that it became hard to look at. After all, the most beautiful things are the hardest to watch._

_Especially after they begin to lose their shine._

_"No! It's my present! The pretty girl gave it to me..." Riku pointed at the setting sun. "Her hair is like the color of fire after it's burned down!"_

_Sora pouted. "Since when have you been talking to people without me? We're adventure buddies- we're always supposed to be together!" He turned, pretending to be severely distraught._

_Riku was momentarily distracted by the pain he might've caused and Sora took his chance, turning back and leaping at the necklace. The boys tumbled in the sand._

_Riku tried to brush the sand out of his hair before noticing that his necklace had gone missing- and that Sora had it. Riku decided he wouldn't stand for such a disgrace and rammed back into Sora. They tousled through the sand until the sun was gone and they lay panting side by side, exhausted. The crown lay between them in the sand. Sora's hand inched toward the crown at the same time Riku's did._

_"Hey Riku? I know we're adventurers, and that there will always be treasure we'll fight over. But will you promise that it'll never come between us?"_

_"Yeah, Sora. I promise."_

_Their hands passed over the crown and reached for eachother. Sora's hand folded smoothly into Riku's as they lay there._

_"I'm glad we're friends, Sora." Sora sighed into the sky as the first stars began to come out._

_"Me too."_

...

Maybe that was why Sora had been pulled to Kairi all those years. That's why he became her friend. She was the girl with the beautiful crown necklace. The girl with hair the color of "fire after it's burned down". Unconsciously, from that moment on, they were destined to become friends.

...

"Oh. Time for dessert?"

Riku rolled his eyes. He pulled a chair out before placing his hands firmly on Sora's shoulders and guiding him toward the chair, forcing him to sit down. "Patience, grasshopper. I have many course meals planned for the both of us..."

...

Sora groaned and held his belly. "I never thought I would ever eat enough to actually implode my stomach. I feel like I'm barely holding my guts inside me."

Riku snorted and stood up as he took the plates and began piling them in the sink. "Well, isn't that romantic."

"Shut up!" Sora groaned again and stood up, taking his plate to the sink before Riku saw him and sat him back down again. "You're a guest in my place. I do the dishes. I do everything. You just sit there and get fat."

Sora grumbled. "That's not fair..." Riku picked up speed until all the dishes were gone. When was the last time anyone had done something for Sora? Since before he turned 10? "I could get used to this..." He mumbled to himself.

"What was that?" Riku smirked knowingly and patted Sora's back. "Come on. I have something I want to show you."

Sora worked his muscles as he followed Riku up the stairs, building up a rhythm to awaken his drowsy body. They wandered through corridors and hallways. The place was like a maze- one wrong turn, and you might be gone for a very long time. Sora watched Riku carefully, not willing to fall into a daydream and never leave that house again. Though, under different circumstances, he would rather stay there than anywhere else.

Riku pulled to a halt. "Here we are. This is where all the magic happens." Riku winked and pulled the door open, leading Sora inside.

"This is your... bedroom?" Sora was spellbound. The sky blue walls, the clouds painted on the ceiling. The birds painted on the fan so that if it was turned on, it would look like the birds were flying.

It had been bothering him all day. In the small confines of this room, he would allow himself a single pressing question that he would never pursue again.

"Where... where are your parents?"

Riku sat on his bed and leaned against the wall. "They're dead. I was going to be a foster child, but I decided to become emancipated. My parents left the entire inheritance to me, so I live here alone. I'll eventually go into work, but for now... this is what supports me."

"Oh."

"An eye for an eye. Why did you leave me? All those years ago, when we were children. You disappeared from school for an entire week. I couldn't find you anywhere- I checked our usual playground. I waited for you every night. And suddenly, you come back again. But this time, you don't look at me. You don't even speak to me. You turned into a serious child beyond your age. Why?"

An eye for an eye, Sora agreed. " We lost our home. I spent a week getting things together and supporting my family. I got a couple odd jobs and then more stable ones. And here we are, right?" He responded stiffly, not wanting to discuss it.

"That's not the answer to my question. Why did you leave me?"

"Because..." Sora stood uncomfortably before he took a seat beside Riku on his bed. Their shoulders touched as Sora leaned against the wall and stared at the phantom sky. "I didn't want you to know. You were always so calm and playful, too. I wanted you to stay that way. I didn't want you to know what had happened, because that would mean that you would lose your innocence well. Better me than you, right?" His words faded in the room, leaving no trace of what had been said other than what was inside of their hearts.

"Idiot." Sora balked at Riku's harsh words. "There are some battles you can't just fight alone." Riku sighed and lay on his back, placing his legs on Sora's knees.

"Get off!" Sora struggled, trapped.

"Make yourself comfortable. You can leave, of course, but you'd get so far lost in there that not even your keen, adventurous senses could help you find your way back."

Sora pulled himself downward- the only position that would allow him to leave Riku's grip without breaking his kneecaps- and lay down beside the older boy.

They began to fall asleep like that. Slowly, their breaths synchronized and they began to lose themselves in dreams beside eachother, like they had when they were children.

Sora heard Riku murmur in his ear as he drifted into sleep. "I won't let you fight them alone. I'll be right here, beside you."

...

_Review already!_


	21. Flick

Sora stretched as he woke up, rubbing against something warm. He yawned loudly and splayed his arms everywhere, thwacking against something beside him.

"Dammit!" Riku growled sleepily as he rested next to Sora. "Hit me again in your sleep and I will wake you up with a splash of cold water all over your face and you'll regret ever having set foot into this bed!" Riku's outburst did nothing to the younger boy, other than have Sora pull him closer and moan in his sleep. Riku's body began to weaken with sleep and warmth, and he began to relax despite his best friend waking him up all night with hits and jolts.

Not that he minded. Riku was often lost in nightmares, and Sora always pushed him out of them with a shift or bump. He wondered if the boy did it on purpose, or if he even realized what he was doing.

" 'S not my fault you're so cuddly at night..." Sora wrapped an arm around Riku, and Riku shifted uncomfortably until he turned to face Sora.

"I... do you mind if we rest like this instead? I... don't like anyone at my back..." Riku looked down, towards Sora's arm on him.

"Yeah. It's fine, 's long as ya don't go licking me like that dog or something..."

"Licking you?" Riku's eyes widened in surprise as Sora's eyes blinked closed yet again.

"Yeah... the one that was chasing me around the merry go round- 'cept we were running the wrong way since the carousel was turning against us, and it seemed like I wasn't runnin' anywhere at all..." Sora's words slurred and Riku rolled his eyes. The boy was delirious with sleep, and anything said now was utter nonsense.

Riku lifted Sora's arm off of him and got off the bed, ready to cook them a breakfast that would top the food last night. Sora's arm caught him again. "Wait... don't go... Riku..." Riku leaned in close to catch the words Sora had muttered. "I don't wanna... be alone... anymo..." Sora began to snore slightly and his arm fell down, still aimed toward Riku.

Riku lay back down in bed. It was cold and empty in the house. The least he could do was keep his guest warm...

...

Sora had woken first, and even had time to take another strawberry scented shower before he got out and saw Riku heading for the door. He leaped toward the boy, determined.

"No. I will not eat whatever devil's food you may have planned for me. I will not be incapacitated again- besides, it's unhealthy to sleep right after food. I'll cook today!" Sora bounced ahead of Riku and covered the door. He glanced out the hallway and exited, leaving Riku alone. Sora popped back into the room. "Actually... if you would lead me to the kitchen..." Riku chuckled at the lost boy.

"Only if you admit that you need me." Riku's inner sadist was out to play. The boy was irritatingly cute when he was asleep, and Riku hated how that made him feel.

Like he actually had a family.

"I need you." Riku grinned- it had made him far too delighted at those words for it to be healthy... "And while I cook, you can shower; but don't worry- I won't peek like you did." Sora winked and walked out into the hallway, leaving Riku behind.

"Wrong way, Sora." Sora hid his blush and followed after Riku through the maze of his house.

...

Sora prepared the meal and Riku stepped outside the house, not wanting to crowd or pressure the younger boy. There was no way Sora was going to beat Riku's cooking skills, he thought proudly. If they were stuck on a small island together, Sora would be completely dependent on him. Riku smiled smugly, then shook his head. What was he thinking? That boy was getting inside his head...

...

Flick.

A blue flame gazed out at Riku, enveloping his vision and narrowing it down to that single, beautiful light. It danced back and forth with the wind, shrinking and rising.

Not enough air, and it would die out. Too much air, and it would be blown out.

He had the lighter customized. The flame would always be blue. It's colors wavered from sky blue to the blue of Sora's eyes, or the darkest depths of the oceans depending on the environment. He loved that lighter- engraved on it's side was a single blue rose against the silver coating.

Blue roses. The desire of the unattainable.

Blue, like his father's eyes. Blue, like his mother's lips once she was dead.

No, that was wrong. He didn't love that lighter. He needed it, to remind him that the world was cruel, and harsh, and would never stop being beautiful despite that.

If he had a father to offer him a ride to Sora's house that day, Ansem wouldn't have had the chance to...

Riku sighed and pulled the lighter to his lips, igniting a cigarette. He inhaled the dirty air and leaned against the rail on his porch. He watched the smoke lift off of his lips and float into the world, disappearing in the sky.

He didn't always smoke. He had resisted it at first- he hated the way the smoke curled inside his lungs and burned him internally. As time flew by and he continued to suck down the air, it became easier.

There wasn't anyone to tell him not to. He tapped the ash off the cigarette and breathed in a bit more of death. He puffed out again, forming his lips so that the smoke came out as a ring. The tricks amused him.

"Dinner!" Sora called out from inside.

Riku shed the last of the ash before he put the lit part of the cigarette on his tongue. His mouth tasted of ash as the cigarette flamed inside of him, but his saliva turned it off.

Once the burning cooled, he headed inside and disposed of the remains of the cigarette. Riku's tongue ached, and he rubbed it against the roof of his mouth.

He could feel the phantom cigarette laying in his mouth backwards, burning his flesh. The sizzling sound of his skin being cooked. The stench of a body- his body- being burned alive.

Riku didn't mind.

It made him truly feel alive.

...

"What is this? On what planet is something as disgusting as THIS considered food?" Sora huffed angrily as he lay the plate in front of the boy. The food almost masked the smell of something distinctly... bitter... cigarettes? Since when did Riku smoke?

"You smell like cigarettes. You know they're bad for you, right?" Riku rolled his eyes.

"And you smell like strawberries. You know people eat those, right, little girl?"

Sora hissed. "I AM NOT A LITTLE GIRL! I AM A FULL FLEDGED MANLY MAN!" Riku burst out laughing.

"Seriously, what is this food?" Riku hoped that Sora didn't notice the change in subject from his smoking as the boy set the table, preoccupied. Riku wasn't that worried though- the Sora was practically ADD. Riku tentatively took a bite and sat back in his seat when a wonderful explosion of flavors erupted in his mouth. "Damn... this is pretty good!" Riku wondered if the boy had had much practice cooking...

Sora smirked. "I told you so! Don't question the ultimate adventurer! Who knows, maybe that food will save me from a King that was planning to execute me but let me live because I could cook like this!" Sora eyes lighted up with excitement.

"Yeah, and you'd be stuck being his chef forever. Would you rather live to serve him, or accept the execution?" Riku immediately regretted the words. The light in Sora's eyes faded as he sat down next to Riku.

"I- I don't know." Riku shifted uncomfortably in his seat, then smiled at Sora brightly.

"Don't worry- if that ever happened, you could distract the King with your food and I'd kidnap you to safety." Sora smiled, and the food on his plate steamed over his face and his cheeks blushed with heat. "C'mon, let's finish eating and we can find something else to do. "

Riku finished the food and sipped a bit of Paopu Fruit Juice. They say that when you share a bottle, you're destined to stay together. Riku wondered if Sora realized this- or, for the matter, how expensive the tiny bottle was. He chuckled, and then remembered what Sora had said before. Riku wondered if he would choose the execution either way, even if Sora had managed to rescue him. His thoughts melted away when Sora smiled and began to clean the table up.

...

_Imagine what it's like for me. Sitting here, wondering what disgraceful thoughts you're thinking about this. _

_You know what's worse than knowing what cruel things you're thinking?_

_Not knowing. _

_Please review. _


	22. Lasting

"Do you ever wonder about the future?" They headed outside. Sora wanted to stretch a bit, and Riku had wanted to play video games. They had decided to walk through the warming air before their senses heightened and they could kill more together.

Two boys laughed in the distance. "I love you... got it memorized?" The words bounced off of the buildings around them and settled in their ears.

"Stop being so cheesy!" The shorter boy ran before the tall one pulled him into his grasp, nuzzling the short one between his shoulders and neck. The short one blushed as red as the tall one's head and whispered something back.

Sora wondered if Riku had ever felt like that, or had a crush on someone. He wondered who it would be...

"No." Sora's head jerked back to Riku, and he cocked his head questioningly. "The answer to your question- no, I don't think about the future much."

"Why not? Isn't there all that there is? The future?"

The two boys headed inside- the short, blonde one being kissed relentlessly by the tall one. Sora thought about who they were, if he would ever see them again. Maybe they went to his school!

"That's wrong. The future isn't all that there is- the future is a mass of mist. You might see something in there, and the closer you get the clearer it becomes- but as you continue to walk and reach it, you'll get lost or it'll turn out to be something completely different. You can't positively know what is in the future. What you do know is in the present- all the things around us, the things we live with and the things that happen to us- that's what matters. If you concentrate on the present, then you won't have to worry about the future. The future doesn't scare me at all."

Riku was thinking of Ansem again, Sora could tell. Would Ansem always be standing between them, no matter how hard they fought to destroy him? Would he ever leave?

"Let's head back. I have this amazing multi-player game for us- it's online, and after you get a hang of it through practice we can start a party and kick human and zombie ass together!"

Sora grinned. "You should be glad you're on my team. Otherwise, you'll have to fear for your life!" Riku laughed.

"As if." Riku rolled his eyes. "Race you!" Riku winked and in a flash was gone, running at top speed.

They ran together like they had all those years ago, and they ran like no time has passed.

But happy memories do not last forever.

...

Why must we live this way?

Why can't we ever be completely happy?

No matter the great things that surround us, there will always be a shadow looming near.

From that moment as a child that we realized that reality wasn't always beautiful and filled with laughter, from the moment that you look down on yourself and see something wrong...

That's when we realize that we were brought up on fantasies and unrealistic expectations for the future.

That's when the whole world breaks down in front of us, cracking and shattering and revealing the cruel truth beneath.

But as it unveils the truth and the world's glass mask comes tumbling around us, the shards needed to go somewhere. The world dug it's painful splinters into everyone that used to see it as it was.

That way, as you see the true world, you'll never forget the old one.

Even if it means for that ever step you take in reality, the remains of fantasy lie and slice within you.

Were we better off being born into cruelty, just so that the painful moments didn't bother us?

Were we better off hiding into the darkness until we begin to fade in it- lost in the endless twists and turns?

It would be equivalent exchange. Never remember the happiness that contrast against your harsh reality for never feeling happiness again.

Would it be worth it? If you don't feel happiness, your pain will never bother you.

But to live without happiness, to never shed a single tear of joy, is to live as though nothing good ever mattered inside your heart.

It isn't worth it. Because if you stop enjoying everything for the price of a couple bad memories, you give up everything that makes you, you.

Even if the glass shards of fantasy scratch their way inside of you, it still warms your heart.

Nothing is in black or white. You cannot expect to live completely in happiness, so don't travel into the depths of darkness.

When you live, you live for both.

Or it isn't living at all.

...

_Sorry guys. I'm fighting off the flu, so this isn't very good (not that it ever was, but...)_

_Review, and hopefully I'll get better faster :P_


	23. Struggle

Scouring the earth for that last, single shred of hope.

Searching through every corner and in every person.

We know, deep down, that the life we live will never make us happy.

But we struggle anyway.

And we struggle only for ourselves.

We struggle for the emotions that our death would cause to the only people we care about. We struggle for the belief that one day, it will get better. We struggle every moment in our tiny lives for the things that matter to us.

It is a pointless, endless struggle of a life we never wanted to live.

A life that we feel we shouldn't live.

Sometimes we wonder if we should live at all, if the only option is this.

That begs the question- is it ever truly worth it?

Must we continue every cruel, grueling day of misery and sadness?

Can't we end it all with a single flick, a pull, a jump?

What is stopping us?

Should we continue to resist temptation?

Why... can't we simply...

die?

...

Something shattered.

Glass tinkled along the marble floor, leaving a beautiful sound for something that could be so dangerous.

Sora and Riku froze. They had rushed home, and as they panted in the foyer and Sora had leaned against the table. His body sagged against the stress from the weight of his heart beating down on him. His heart thrusting a disgusting embrace against his body- warming it against the cold. It didn't prevent him from feeling the cold, it simply prevented him from dying from it. Sora hated that feeling. He was barely there, barely breathing. Yet his heart pumped on.

The vase had fallen at their feet, crinkling into thousands of glimmering pieces.

Slices that were both beautiful, and dangerous.

Slices that could prove to be more fatal than a broken heart.

Riku stepped carefully away and headed toward the kitchen. Sora stood, feelings of guilt overwhelming him. It wasn't his vase to break- Riku had invited Sora into his house, and all Sora did was destroy something that probably meant alot to his best friend.

Sora destroyed everything.

He couldn't understand it. Why, when the day seemed to go along so greatly, did the sun have to set?

Why did he have to feel this way?

Why did he have to regret everything he did, his very existence?

Why did it all matter so much to him?

Why couldn't he give up?

Riku returned with a towel and began lifting up sharp shards of painted glass.  
"Hey Riku... I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Riku swept up large pieces of glass, and wrapped them around a towel. "It doesn't mean much to me. Though I've been wanting to practice the art of recreating vases with gold plating where the cracks are, so this will certainly help. At the very least, I'll start getting into ceramics." Riku smiled. "Let's head on over to my room. We still need to play a couple video games before you go."

Sora nodded sullenly and glanced at the spot where the vase once rested. Riku noticed his gazed ans smiled comfortingly. "Honestly, don't worry about it." Rike wrapped the towel up and held it, heading up the stairs. "It'll be okay, Sora. Now, let's get your mind off of things."

...

Sora was sweating. His shirt stuck to his skin and his hands jerked back and forth against he surface slick with sweat. "Riku!" He moaned desperately. "Hurry up!"

Riku panted beside him. "I'm doing..." Riku grunted, "The best I can!"

Sora let out one last frustrated groan, jerking harder, before he dropped the controller and flopped down beside Riku on the bed. "Why the fuck did you leave me for the zombies? You horrible bastard. I thought we said that we were going to camp out together!"

Riku tossed down the controller, his hitting Sora's. Both of them were sticky with excitement because of the intense battle. "I didn't know we were going to be spawned at different points! I know you're not familiar with the maps, but you could have at least hid somewhere before I came to rescue you! What the hell were you thinking, standing in the middle of the battlefield like that? You didn't stand a chance, even if I did try and snipe all the zombies out!"

Sora huffed. "Next time, you try and be the bait. Everyone else left me for dead! Another human even tried to kill me!"

Riku nodded. "Yeah, they're pretty brutal out there. Once, I camped with this guy and he shot me dead when I got too close. They're incredibly cruel. That's life, right?"

"Yeah..." Sora responded wearily. "Sounds like life alright." There was an odd, questioning silence. Sora contemplated a question as he stared at Riku's invigorating ceiling. "Do you..."

Riku drew in a breath. "Yeah?"

"Nothing. It's really, really nothing." Sora held back the words that barely whispered on his lips.

Perhaps words are better off not spoken.

Unfortunately, words are the only way to officially communicate.

Without them, we are as lost as feathers in the wind.

We are without control and without power. We are left without direction and simply only able to accept what we are sent to, until we are nothing but rags- stuck in a muddy world that will suck us up forever.

We are what we express.

We are what we don't express.

And we are responsible for every moment of it.

With words, we can only struggle against the current.

But at least with words, we try.

...

_I felt like y'all deserved a little bit of innuendo right there in the middle. I hope you enjoyed it ;)_

_(and if you didn't, or know of ways I can... improve my writing set of that sorts *no experience* review or pm :P )_

_Review! 3_


	24. Passing Days

The monsters in our hearts,

the ones that no one else can see

the darkness that never parts

the one risen from reality

the one that settles down in stone

the cruelty that will never leave us alone.

...

The night had passed through their lives without pausing.

If you could choose any day to live, and relive, would you do it?

Would it be worth it?

Time stops for no one. Time slips through the wind and the rain, the happiness and the sadness, but most of all it slips through moments of joy.

It is the moments that we feel the most happy that rips away from us the fastest.

There is no reprieve from sadness.

So is the better alternative to repeat our days unendingly? To live without question or fear, because we know all that will come to pass?

To give up growing, simply so that we can live in those small moments of happiness?

There is little chance of happiness but great risk for pain.

We can slip through the cracks, and slip through time itself, and finally be happy.

But once we decide to live in the past, our present dies.

We become nothing but an echo of who we were.

It destroys us.

...

Sora rose first. They had fallen asleep after a couple battles, exhausted from the constant fighting and pain and gore. After all, it wasn't going to be a worthy fight if they wouldn't stand by eachother- to fight with eachother, to fight for eachother.

To stand back to back, fighting against the ceaseless monsters.

Once Riku would die, Sora would always fall soon after.

Riku was stronger in the game, and he had more experience. Yet, because of that, Riku had to play harder for the both of them, and protect Sora too.

And that left Riku the most vulnerable.

Riku lay crumpled in the bed, his breath loud and panting, cold sweat leaking into the covers as his hands clenched them. Perhaps that was what had woken Sora up.

Sora turned around, his back faced away from the bed, and he let himself fall. For a split second, it was peaceful. He looked up at the beautiful sky painted on the wall above him, and let the world take him in.

"TWACK." He landed on a sleeping Riku with a great crackling sound. Riku swore and pushed Sora off, and Sora giggled.

"You asshat."Riku rubbed his sore knee and slowly pulled himself up. His hands unclenched, and he tried to smooth the rumpled sheets. "Thanks." Riku's hair fell unbrushed in front of his eyes, and Sora brushed them behind his ears.

"For what?" Sora's eyes widened innocently, and as he headed toward the bathroom he turned back and winked. "Although, I would accept payment..." A pillow went flying to his head and Sora ducked, his voice echoing through the room.

"Bastard," Riku muttered as the boy wandered out. He sighed and stood up, his muscles stiff and hard. He stretched a bit, reawakening his muscles. He hated the dream. It was always the same one.

He was locked inside of a room, and he couldn't see anything. Only the floor was illuminated in an odd shape, a symbol he had interpreted to mean "broken heart" or "heartless" because of the jagged lines running through the heart. He would run until his breath came out in pants. He could never run far- only until the odd stretch of glowing floor, and then he would be eternally lost. He wanted to stay near the light, but he also wanted to find away out of the unending darkness.

He always continued as far as he could, until he could barely see the light. He would toss and turn, rolling through the landscape with no avail. Eventually, he would lose sight of the symbol and the darkness would press against him, climbing inside of him.

Suddenly, Sora would appear. He would reach up and pull on a string, yanking up a shade. Light would flood the area and Riku would run faster and faster, pulling a deadpan Sora into his arms. He would breathlessly call Sora's name, and Sora would simply stand there, unmoving.

Then, slowly, Sora would finally look at Riku and smile. It wasn't a warm, welcoming smile but a cold, greasy smile that sent shivers down Riku's back. He would release Sora, and try to take a few steps back but Sora would grab him and whisper something in Riku's ear.

"You didn't really think anyone but I would love you, did you?" It was Ansem's voice. Cold and deep and invading. The words would echo again and again, and Riku would look into Sora's eyes and see nothing but malice.

He would always turn and try to run, but he would never be able to get anywhere. His feet would sink into the darkness and he would struggle, try to reach for Sora, but Sora would stand there. The cruel smile never left his face and he stared down.

Riku raised his hand, one last hopeful gesture before the darkness would swallow him completely. His skin became cold and he would stretch his body as far as it would reach, but Sora simply stood there. Sora finally responded, his voice young and sweet. It was Sora! Riku would always feel hope swell within him, and feel it cut out of him when he finally realized what Sora was saying. "Why would I save you?"

Riku would watch Sora stand there as the darkness swallowed him whole.

And then he would wake up.

He heard Sora's voice muffle through his thoughts. "Come one! We're going to be late for school!" Riku pulled his hair up in a loose ponytail, rinsed himself off, and headed out into the cold with Sora.

The outside reminded him of the feeling in his dream.

Like his life was being sucked away.

He wondered when happiness had begun to pass him by.

...

_I'm sorry guys. I've been pretty sick, and I was trying to get better before I attempted to continue._

_If you review, my health will get even better!_


	25. Making Riku Fall In Love Chronicles 5

_This was initially marked as .5, sorry for the mix-up._

_..._

Words. Syllables. Courses of sounds and letters that we did not create, but they mean more to us than life itself.

Because words themselves can end a life, without ever touching the person.

Because they contaminate the ear, spreading the virus into the brain until those words are the only thing you can hear or even think about, until it overwhelms you so much that your body begins to destroy itself from the inside.

All because of an opinon. A belief. A crushed hope. A destroyed dream.

Until it decimates the person. Shredding the very thing that makes them happy.

The power of words.

We hold them within ourselves, always so close to releasing them.

But if the words do slip through, they can cause more pain than simply keeping them inside of you.

Because while you can take measures to make sure your thoughts will never be voiced, they never return once they flutter through the air.

They flutter through the breeze. A single breath that kills.

Words.

...

The cold winter bit into Riku's skin. The silence was damning. For the words we never voice, the feelings we contain, can be destructive to ourselves if held back for too long.

They spotted Aerith on the way to school.

Sora had almost forgotten that Aerith went this way as well- he was always lingering around the school, so he never had the chance to actually talk with her. Kairi seemed to like her, so he ran and hopped on her porch, bursting with energy from the full night's sleep he had at Riku's place. Riku stopped in his tracks, and Sora waved enthusiastically at the pretty girl. She smiled sweetly and continued down her stairs, walking to Sora and heading towards Riku. Sora chattered eagerly away.

Riku felt lost in his own world, his eyes closing as he heard a jumble of footsteps heading toward him. His thoughts traveled cleanly and without disturbance, and he solemnly considered and came to the conclusion that he wanted to be alone.

Just by himself.

Without people, there is no pain.

"Be careful what you wish for..." Riku's eyes shot open and his heart thumped loudly, shoving against his body. He turned slowly, and saw Ansem's cruel, wide smile looking down at him. Peering into his soul. Defiling him all over again without touching a hair.

Hadn't Riku won? Wasn't it over?

Ansem slid past and Riku watched, his body frozen and his eyes glued to the large body. He shuddered involuntarily, and Ansem continued without a glance back.

Why talk to him? Why continue to torture him like this?

Why couldn't he be left alone?

Why wouldn't the world let him be happy?

"Hey, Riku. It's been a while." Aerith smiled softly, her cheeks flushing pink. Her large fluffy coat was the exact same shade as her blush, Riku noticed disconnectedly.

He was on autopilot, forcing himself to submit to his usual actions and to bury his conscious deep down inside of him, where no amount of words or things Ansem did would bother him.

Where no soul could touch him.

Sora laughed and Aerith giggled, her voice tinkling. Riku smiled at her, and her flush spread farther across her cheeks. Maybe it was time he had a girlfriend.

He had dated a few girls here and there. He could learn to love Aerith.

There was so such thing as falling in love. Riku was finally all alone in the world, and the very least he could do is have a family and make his parents proud. Not a real love. Just someone to grow old with.

He wondered, after Ansem, if his parents still loved him. He wondered if they thought he was dirty.

Riku sighed and made pleasant chatter with Aerith, his eyes scanning the horizon for any sign that Ansem was lurking nearby.

There was nothing.

At least, that's what he pretended.

Because Ansem was always lurking inside of his mind...

...

Sora had hope Aerith would help, but he could always tell.

Riku had dug very far inside himself when they picked up Aerith, and Sora felt as though for every moment he was gone Riku slipped further and further away.

Sora wanted to help. But there was no he would be able to stay with Riku all the time- and even if he could, it would slowly wear away on his soul.

Sora hated himself for thinking that way.

But he also knew it was true.

At the very least, he wanted to make Riku happy.

And thus began the Making Riku Fall In Love Chronicles.

...

_Welcome to the MRFIL Chronicles! _

_Odd situations, stupid plans, and maybe, who knows, characters realize their love for each other. _

_Really, who knows?_

_Read and find out._


	26. MRFIL Chronicles 1

_The previous chapter is marked as 5, but is actually .5, sorry!_

_..._

"Hey Aerith." Sora stopped Aerith after Riku had left for his locker, and they stood alone outside the school. "Can I... can I borrow your perfume for a second?"

Aerith blushed, then smiled. "Sure. But... what would you need it for?" She handed him a tiny pink bottle, and Sora shoved it inside his backpack and sprayed. He coughed as the nostalgic smell hit him, and he handed the bottle back.

"Nothing." As Aerith seemed to ponder why someone she barely knew would ask to use her perfume, Sora interrupted her. "You like Riku, right?" Aerith flushed and looked down at her hands.

"Is it that obvious?" She toyed with a loose strand of hair, her voice low and cautious.

"No, of course not." The warning bell rang and Sora walked off, smiling warmly back at her. Her smell emanated from his backpack, still strong. "I'm sure he feels the same way."

Sora ran, leaving the tiny seed of hope within her. He was finally going to grow some plants, he thought.

...

Sora grinned. He hadn't even shared his sinister plan with Kairi- she thought he was gay.

But didn't she also hint that he should date Yuffie? His brow furrowed before Riku came into his view.

Sora back away a few inches, trying to peek over the wall while not being noticed.

Though, for a school filled with students, Sora was sticking out like a sore thumb. He ignored the whisperings of "What an odd freshman.." and "Freak" as he studied what Riku was dialing in as his locker combination.

Riku's voice echoed as he stared at his locker. "If you wanted my locker combination, you could've just asked." Sora glanced around. If Riku wasn't talking with anyone, then...

Sora sighed and pulled himself out from behind the wall. "How'd you see me?" Riku smiled, and ruffled his hand through Sora's spikes.

"Next time you try to hide, account for the large spikes too." Riku winked and pulled out one last textbook before disappearing among the crowd of students hurrying to their next class, leaving his locker wide open to Sora.

Sora stared at where Riku stood, dumbfounded. He felt his body flush with warmth at Riku's pat.

No one had touched him lovingly since... since he turned 10.

Sora shook his head, trying to disperse such stupid thoughts. Why the hell was he thinking about Riku touching him? He glanced around to make sure the coast was clear, and he delicately placed a pink letter that smelled horrendously girly inside of Riku's locker, and closed it.

This was also payback for Riku's insult to Sora's writing- he bet that Riku wouldn't be able to tell!

At this rate, he was going to be the best man at Riku's wedding.

And no one was going to suspect a thing, he thought smugly.

...

Yuffie stared at Sora's wide spikes. They were parted by Riku's hand... the hand that belonged to a body that smiled warmly at Sora, and the hand that disappeared as Sora dropped a love letter in Riku's locker.

She was going to be strong, and finally ask Sora to the dance.

But Riku... and Sora...?

She didn't know what to do.

...

_What do you think? _


	27. MRFIL Chronicles 2: Letters

Riku stood, letting the rain pour down his face.

Letting the wind roll against his body, pushing and waving and surrounding him. Enveloping him.

Freezing him.

Sora shouted ahead of him, urging him to hurry forward against the cold.

He felt at peace, the harsh world helping him prepare for everything else the world had to offer.

The good and the bad, the warm and the cold.

Ansem appeared and wrapped his arm around Riku, smiling maliciously. "I'll keep you warm, sweetheart."

...

Riku woke up in a cold sweat during Geometry. Sora was glancing worriedly at him, but Riku ignored the watchful gaze and attempted to reassert himself into the class. His breathing was uneven and frantic, and he ran once the bell rung.

He couldn't bring himself to wait for Sora, to walk together. His heart thumped loudly in his chest, rushing blood in and out. He was burning hot and freezing cold, every breeze making the difference.

Riku rested his forehead against his cold locker, and he caught a nauseating whiff of a stong perfume. He glanced at the locker number and back to where the smell was coming from, unsure if this was actually his. When had his locker been invaded? Most likely by Sora, the poor sap.

Riku unlocked it and swung the hinges open, and fell to a full assault of the girl's perfume. Riku crinkled his nose and lifted the pink envelope that was emitting the soon-nauseating stench.

"Riku~" was daintily written on the cover, and Riku's eyes watered as he opened the letter. How much stronger could the smell get? He would never be able to get it out of his clothes at this rate.

"Dear Riku,

I know we haven't spoken much, but I find myself thinking of you often. Will you meet me under the school's cherry tree this Friday, at sunset? The view is beautiful.

With Love,

Aerith.

P.S. Please don't mention this letter to anyone, including me. I want to talk about it all on Friday~"

The letter was signed, and Riku rolled his eyes at Sora's horrible attempt at mimicking Aerith's handwriting. He tossed the letter in the trash, deciding not to bother with it. His former headache had expanded with the girly scent, and it was all he could do not to head to the nurse's office.

After all, you had to pass the gym to get there.

...

Yuffie held back tears as Riku tossed Sora's love letter in the garbage. She was a sucker for love stories, and it hurt her heart to see Riku destroy what could be a wonderful relationship.

She had hurried there, awaiting Riku's smiling reaction, but Riku continued to grimace with disgust as time went on.

She would take it upon herself to fix this.

She would make a great friendship into a wonderful romance.

...

Sora wrote with his left hand, hoping for an overall "Riku" effect. He was pretty good, he admitted to himself.

"Aerith.

Meet me under the cherry tree at sunset on Friday. We need to talk.

Riku."

Sora grinned as he left Geometry and passed by Aerith's locker, slipping the letter inside. That look on Riku's face during Geometry? It would be gone by the time he was done screwing with his friends.

Sora could make a habit of this.

...

Aerith grinned at Riku as she caught up to him, walking home. "Yes." Riku looked at her questioningly, and Aerith elaborated. "Yes, I'll see you on Friday." Aerith beamed at him, them twirled and ran home.

Riku's eyes widened. It wasn't from Sora? Was Sora simply the messenger?

Then...

Aerith...

Riku stared as the girl ran from his sight, flouncing cheerily. Could he really go out with her?

He pondered the girl's almost-confession.

...

Sora stared, heartbroken, into the distance. Riku was walking without him? Did Riku know about him leaving the message inside his locker? Was he upset?

Sora didn't know what to do to help mend their friendship.

At the very least, Riku seemed to forget the horrible dream he had during class.

...

Yuffie stared as Riku and Aerith chatted happily, and Sora watched sadly in the distance. Had Riku truly rejected Sora so coldly, not even bothering to explain? She listened to what Aerith mentioned as she ran away, about meeting up.

Friday, at sunset, under the cherry tree?

Yuffie could work with that.

She was the great ninja Yuffie! A few well placed sheets of paper here and there and soon enough, Sora and Riku would be kissing under that tree.

Yuffie blushed as she vivdly imagined what it would look like, then set out to work on her plan.

There was no way she was going to let the two of them stay friends.

She wanted them to be something so much, much more.

...

_I'm sorry. _


	28. MRFIL Chronicles 3: Starlit Tears

Yuffie sobbed. Tears streamed out of her eyes as she muttered incoherent words into Leon's chest. Leon held her by her shoulders, hoping to calm the poor girl down as she collapsed against him.

"They... they're gone... I didn't know that the door was open I swear I didn't but when I got home they were GONE and I don't know I don't- I don't..." Leon began to rub her back, used to Yuffie's emotional outbursts.

Leon sighed, and pulled Yuffie back and look her in the eyes. "Listen to me Yuffie." Yuffie looked to be in agonizing pain, tears blurring her vision as she whimpered. " I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong. Talk to me."

"The pupp-" Yuffie's breath quickened, unwilling to admit the truth. "The puppies that you gave me for... for Christmas? They're gone Leon. They're gone I'm so sorry I didn't know-" Yuffie fell into a fit of hysterics, sobbing at reality.

Leon's eyes widened. "They're gone? When's the last time you saw them?"

"This- this morning. When I came home from school, I couldn't see them and I called you I didn't know what to do..." Yuffie looked up at Leon with large, tear-stained eyes. "Will you help me?"

Leon pat her head lightly, the pushed her back slightly and pulled out his cell phone. God knew what time it was, but he wasn't going to deny his old friend some help. Especially when those puppies meant so much to her...

Leon remembered when he gave them to her. Her eyes lit up like stars in the night, and she smiled so widely and nearly tackled him to the ground. When she had called him after school today, he knew something was wrong. Yuffie was either happy, serious, or devastated, and Leon would be there for all sides of her. That's what friends were for, right?

Leon punched in a familiar number, and hear it ring twice before a muttering boy on the other end picked up. "Leon? What the hell are you doing, calling so late?" Leon sighed, trying to gather his thoughts. He loved the puppies, and often came over to Yuffie's place to see them- though he would never admit that out loud. "... are you okay? Where are you? Fuck." There was frantic scrambling on the other end as Cloud got dressed, pulling on pants and slipping on a shirt. "Where are you!"

Leon paused, amused by the reaction. "Cloud, Yuffie's puppies went missing. Meet us by the pier." There was a thumping sound as Cloud leaned against the desk, relieved.

"You scared me..." There was another sigh across the phone as Leon watched Yuffie's tears slow, looking up with hope.

"Just be here." Leon flicked his phone shut and returned to Yuffie's side, not saying anything as she curled against his side and moaned. It wasn't unlike Yuffie to lose things in the heat of excitement, but the puppies? Leon rubbed his forehead. He loved those puppies.

"Can you... can you call Riku and Sora? I don't... I don't want the puppies to... to not... come... ba-" Leon could practically feel her heart breaking between them, and pulled out his cell phone again. The more the merrier, right?

...

Yuffie grinned against Leon's shirt, laughter mixed in with false tears.

Hah. They said her actor's classes would never pay off. Who was setting up her favorite to-be couple ever? She was, and those tears were worth every penny that she paid for those classes. She could feel sympathy running through Leon, and she knew that those puppies were his weakness.

Like she would ever not take care of them. She adored Leon- he was strong and dependable. A good friend.

And she knew how to make him bend to her will.

Soon enough, Riku and Sora would kiss.

Yuffie couldn't wait.

...

_I am going to continue this series, don't worry. But during the last few months of school, things become hectic and it's hard to update as often. No worries though- soon enough, I'll be updating every day!_

_Ah, one more note. I'm starting another series, an AkuRoku one. This isn't an advertisement- I'm just warning you guys that their story will have a minor involvement in this one towards the end. Reading it isn't necessary though :)_

_Review!_


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